Humboldt County

If you like to hike in some of the most beautiful forest left remaining in the world, hunt, fish, camp, and smoke some world class buds, then you have reached Nirvana. There are some places here that will give you a religious experience, and other places like Eureka that will not. The little towns all seem to have distinct personalities. Some of these places are not too hippie friendly, though a few of them are. My brother attended Humboldt State University, so I had a pretty good introduction to the place, but keep finding new treasures each time I visit. Besides the Redwoods, you can visit the Mad, Mattole, and Eel Rivers, the coast, and several hundred miles of hiking trails from Honeydew and Shelter Cove up to the Del Norte County line and east all the way to the Trinity Alps. It is truly a sportsman's paradise, one of those places where there are plenty of deer to shoot, along with abundant steelhead and bottom fish to hook. Most people will find it difficult to become gainfully employed up there.

Baja Fish

Personally, I wish I could flip a switch and make the South Bay disappear. I despise everything that Manhattan Beach stands for and many of the people who live there. Give me Pedro over Manhattan, Hermosa or Redondo any day of the week, but all these places suck. There are some good things about Pedro, such as 22nd Strret Landing fishing, and Baja Fish. The Mexican Seafood at this place is competent, fresh, cooked to order, and the price is right. I get the grilled tuna burrito and a cocktail with octopus and shrimp under normal circumstances when I come here. There is a salsa bar, and the sauces are pretty good. I have sampled most of the items on the menu here with the exception of the soups. Every single time I have come here, I have been exceedingly happy with the food. You just order at the counter and you pick up your food when the order is ready. The employees here are friendly and efficient. The freshness of the fish is readily apparent to me when I look at it on the ice in the display case. They offer a great deal on the yellowfin burrito with fresh avocado, rice and beans. You will fill up here for ten bucks a person. It is worth the drive for me!

Ciro's Restaurant: A lot of #1 and #2. Mostly #2.

THE GOOD The beer is cold, the chips and free avocado salsa rock. The salsa roja is hot and tasty. The service here is outstanding. No problems here. There are things that cannot be fucked up here like the flautas, and the chorizo and egg burrito. The flautas here are the gold standard, thin, crisp taquitos with a little bit of shredded beef with avocado salsa, and crema. Unfortunately, they do not compensate for overall poor quality of the food they served to me the last couple of times I came in. THE BAD The quality of the food here is going downhill pretty quick. The steak picado used to be pretty damn good. Not the last couple of times I have been here. Instead of steak, I was served sinew fried with onions and peppers. The cheese in the enchilada plate is not melted. Please put them back in the oven and serve them when they are ready. THE FUGLY Fuck nostalgia when you order a fried taco plate and there is enough grease on the plate to lube your car. The cook here needs to lift the fucking basket up from the deep fryer and drain the lard from the goddamn tacos before he puts them on the plate. This place gets nearly 3 stars, almost as good as El Tepeyac across the street, but not quite.

Roscoe's House of Chicken and Attitude

The chicken and waffles here are good, but what really sets this place apart is the fucked up service. I don't want to spend my money tipping people that clearly do not like me. Give me fried chicken, but let me keep my dignity.

Miller Brewing Company

Miller, the embalming fluid of beers, ought to be ashamed of themselves for sponsoring the Tools For Success Graduation award in our local community college automobile programs for several reasons. Firstly, the Miller Brewing Company produces dangerous, sub-standard products that contribute to numerous automobile accidents on a daily basis. Miller Beer is involved in hundreds if not thousands of automobile collisions every year and many of them are fatal. Alcohol manufacturers and automobile technology and repair should be mutually exclusive. Instead, we should force the alcoholic beverage industry to retrofit every existing automobile with an ignition interlock device and force the automotive industry to make this a standard feature on all new cars. Secondly, Miller targets the Tools for Success program at Latinos. Alcohol is simply a poison for people who are mestizo or indigenous with almost no exceptions, instantly addicting and frequently fatal. It is a terrible idea to drink any alcohol whatsoever if you are of Mexican descent. It is clearly a genetic condition that does not allow us to drink alcohol in moderation and without horrible consequences like other people. Miller should be ashamed of giving free tools away, and the winners should be ashamed of taking them. It is like targeting a group of people who are at risk of cancer and giving them a catalyst. Finally, community colleges are not an appropriate advertising platform for alcoholic beverages or other mind altering drugs. If anything, it should be a platform for educating people about the dangers of alcohol. Public schools should not participate in the program or allow Miller to distribute applications and paraphernalia with the Miller logo to its students or set up displays on campus. I know that it may seem like a big great philanthropic deal to have an alcohol manufacturer award a full cabinet of tools to an outstanding graduate of an automotive technology program, but if you consider it for a while, I am sure you can see how deceptive Miller truly is.

Mac Arthur Park

Yesterday, I ordered the legendary #19 at Langer's and opted to walk back to Koreatown instead of using public transportation. I headed up Alvarado, and then West on Wilshire. Over the course of my walk, I was overwhelmed with a sudden deluge of memories from my childhood. As I looked at the dilapidated roof of what used to be the boathouse, I remembered fondly how in the early 1970's my dad used to take me and my brothers here to rent paddle boats. I remembered the other business like Edwards Steakhouse, and the Westlake Theater before it was converted into a filthy and depressing indoor swapmeet. I vividly remember when the American Cement Building was occupied with a public relations firm instead of assorted loft owners that are too terrified to even take their dogs outside to shit and will not even walk over to the subway. Well, by that time, the area was already in a state of decline, but not even close to what was going to happen in the 80's. At one time, this had been a pretty highbrow area. The Park Plaza Hotel, The Bryson, Otis Parsons, and the former Sheraton Town House testify to the area's former glory. But it kind of reminds me today of Chernobyl. Our family boat rides preceded rock cocaine, false documents, and U.S. military interventions in Guatemala, El Salvador, and Nicaragua. But when I walked by yesterday, I realized that the foundation of the park is still there. The palm trees still thrive and the lake could easily be restored to its former glory. It is a tragedy that children no longer can enjoy those magical paddle boats that once graced the lake. The area clearly offers one of the very best views of the Downtown Skyline and with a Metro Station and the largest concentration of apartments in any area west of the Mississippi. Massive public investment is sorely needed immediately here for urban renewal. The area has been ignored far too long. Why the City of Los Angeles surrendered this park to the chickenshit criminals that occupy it today is incomprehensible to me. If I were the City Attorney, I would take my fat incompetent ass and focus on cleaning up this area instead of feebly attempting to seek higher office and jousting with medical marijuana dispensaries.

Musso and Frank's Grill

If nostalgia means puking up gin a few hours after you leave this place along with some partially digested toast points, then you are gonna get a hefty dose of nostalgia here. If you do not drink alcohol, and frown on the food available at the Circus Circus Buffet in Reno served by waiters in red monkey suits then you will not want to drop one hundred bucks on Welsh Rarebit. With that said, Mario the bartender will expertly facilitate your drunkening with a martini by which all martinis should be judged. You can close your eyes and inhale the stench of this old carpet, and you can almost picture W.C. Fields pissing on your leg in the bathroom or Gloria Swanson trying to grab your wiener at the bar.