Yoga West

I was given a gift certificate for a week of classes at this place by one of my business associates. I had walked past here before but I did not know about the yoga classes. Furthermore, I had seen the mostly Jewish converts wrapped up in turbans walking along Robertson Blvd. for decades. It piqued my curiosity and was close to my house. I ended up joining and buying the unlimited monthly pass. A bit expensive, but I thought I was going to learn real yoga. Everyone I came in contact with at this place treated me well. Now, I am not a touchy-feely kind of guy, and am genuinely suspicious of any activity that is sponsored by a church so I began to research the group (H3O) and it's founder, the late Yogi Bhajan. I did not find any smoking gun, or anything that would indicate that these people were malicious like the Sikhs that took over the Golden Temple in 1982, except that Yogi Bhajan preached that homosexuality was an illness and mistakes of god. Deduct a couple of stars for retardation. Also, there were some accusations that he was a ladies man. Finally, I read that some high ranking members were busted with a sailboat full of Thai Weed back in the 80's (not much of a crime in my book). The church seems to have a lot of assets. Then, a few months later, I met someone close to the founder, Yogi Bhajan. He claims the yogi was a charlatan and that the followers were people he would go through great lengths to avoid. I thought that was a pretty strong endorsement to stay away from these people. I do not want to say his name, but he was a close relative of the Yogi. I found almost all of the teachers here to be pretty cool, friendly and kind. The one disappointing exception was Guru Ignatowski, I mean Guru Singh. I was told by some adoring fans that he was the rockstar guru. While he was nice enough, when he opened his mouth, I kept on thinking what kind of bird brained philosophy is this? I'm talking serious mumbo jumbo here, folks. Repeatedly through his classes, I wondered in astonishment if this guy was for real (I went to several of this guys classes to give him a chance). My guess is that someone ate too much blotter while wheedling away on his guitar. I listed to this narcissistic idiot lie about how he was the subject of the MK-Ultra Program and how he went to Mexico and apprenticed with a shaman up in the mountains. I was born in the morning, but not this morning, and I can tell you that Guru Singh smells pretty fishy. I would like to eat shrooms with him and expose him as a liar. If you have never practiced Kundalini, you are in for a laugh. It is not really physical, and the poses are childishly easy. If you have gone to Bikram or Bryan Kest and can hang, you will be insulted by the lack of intensity here. There is singing and chanting and brainwashing along with blind adoration for all things Indian. I can't believe that these idiots want to be Indian. India has a lot of social problems, and is a classist, racist society. Some people that teach here assert that India is a utopia, overlooking the gang rape, child abuse, designation of women as lower than dogs, and the hate of all things Pakistani. Indians are fucked up people, and I do my best to avoid doing business with them. Because of the caste system, most of the Indians that you will meet here in the United States are from a high caste in India where they undoubtedly believe that they have been created in a superior manner to you. Because of this, you are fair game for mistreatment and being ripped off by them. I know that there are exceptions, but Indians are for the most part very racist people, and their society is pretty harsh. Notice that no Indians go to Yoga West. Real Indian Sikhs go to the gurwarda on Vermont in Los Feliz. When I came in here, there were a bunch of aggressive middle aged women with their pudenda hanging out of their yoga pants looking for some same day action. If you are interested in cougars you are going to be a happy man. It would be possible to seal the deal with any of them if you were into that sort of thing. These people are constantly trying to nickel and dime you once they have you inside the studio. Immediately after getting on their mailing list, they are trying to sell you extra things not included in the monthly membership. You could, for instance, get the special attention of Guru Singh at the Summer Solstice celebration for an additional $150.00 or teacher training at over one thousand. To round out the commercial vibe of this place, there were linen yoga suits, designer mats, books, CDs and Yogi Tea available for purchase in the lobby. They also had a calendar with 365 different sayings of the leader for each day of the year. All major credit cards accepted. They send you a new solicitation on an almost daily basis. Finally, I heard several teachers suggest taking cold showers. Someone has obviously never had their gas turned off. I would not go back to this place.

Bryan Kest Power Yoga

I recently came here again with my daughter for a class on Tuesday morning. I have gone into a lot of yoga places around town and have really wished that I had half an Oki Dog to put underneath the heater so that the people can sense my lack of approval for their phoniness. They may say namaste, but when you see how they treat the cleaning lady or fight you for a parking space over at Urth Cafe, it is enough to induce projectile vomiting. The people at Bryan Kest power yoga are for real. This is a seriously challenging, hardcore workout taught by people who are serene and willing to share true yoga with you. I am no expert on yogic philosophy and karma, but I don't think that studios that engage in litigation and attempt to assert ownership, dominion and control over yoga poses represent true yoga. While I have taken numerous classes at Bikram College of Indian Yoga including several from the man himself, I think his soul is filled with dog shit. In fact, I have know some people from the Indian Subcontinent and have formulated an opinion on doing business with Indians. They filter everything through the caste system, and if you are dealing with Indians who perceive that they are of a higher caste than you, they will treat you with a great deal of disdain and no respect whatsoever. Make no mistake about it folks, Bikram believes that he is better than you. In my lifetime, I have seen Santa Monica transform from a very compassionate and liberal place into one of the world's most gleaming examples of insidious capitalism. The workout in the class we took was intense. I felt like she encouraged us to utilize our core muscles and gave us a great 90 minute exercise session. I left feeling stretched out and relaxed. Reflecting on the 1970s, I remember the Rent Control Ordinance that was enacted here late in the decade. It is one of my very favorite pieces of legislation ever. It was such a powerful ordinance, that it made large apartment owners in Santa Monica exceedingly nervous and as mad as a hornet. One property owner, local lamprey Lawrence Kates and his partners Harvey and Dave Rosen owned the twin towers apartments on Ocean Ave and rather than being subjected to the ordinance, kept most of the units vacant. It took the property owners decades to water down the once stellar protection offered to renters in Santa Monica. I guess what I am trying to say is that there were a lot of hippies in Santa Monica during the 1970's and early 1980's and there were a lot of progressive thinkers around. People were more compassionate and it seemed like there was more spirit of brotherhood back then. Lots of women dressed in leg warmers and had a big unshaven bush. There were a bunch of Quaaludes and Thai Weed flowing, and to tell you the truth, I wish they would bring back the unshaven bush. A quaalude or two would be spot on too. By requesting a donation after class, Bryan Kest Power Yoga may just be the only remnant of that great era in a sea of soulless places like the Border Grill and Design Within Reach.

Rivas Canyon

The Rivas Canyon Trail stretches from Will Rogers State park to Temescal Gateway Park and is about 2.5 miles long. You catch it just to the left of the sign at the front of the park behind the Ranger's houses. When you get down the first wooden stair case, walk across the parking lot. The trail goes through a shaded oak grove for the first mile. Some of those beautiful trees are at least 200 years old. There are several side trails that are accessible from Rivas Canyon, such as the Temescal Peak Trail that eventually runs into the Backbone Trail about a half a mile from the lone oak tree in Topanga State Park. The Temescal Peak hike loop (about 12 miles) is pretty strenuous, but the Rivas Canyon Trail is easy to moderate and is a nice place to take small children. The views from the Rivas Canyon Trail are fantastic, especially when you get to the top of the brief switchbacks at about the middle of the trail. The Pacific and the entire Santa Monica Bay are visible as well as Temescal and Santa Monica canyons. This trail is a great introduction to the Santa Monica Mountains. The Temescal Peak loop took my wife and I a little over two hours running. The rain started in earnest once we got to the top of Temescal Peak and continued until we finished. The dynamics of the clouds and the rain along with the abundant red, yellow, purple, and blue wildflowers made for an unforgettable run. While the end of the Persian New Year brought more guests to Will Rogers Park than I have ever seen in my life, we only saw four other people on the trail. I was touched that a kind woman took the time to tell us about her New Year celebration and how in happier times she hiked for miles and miles in the mountains surrounding Terhan. Happy Easter. Happy Norwuz. Happy Passover. Happy Trails.

Griffith Park Observatory Hike

You can turn your life around on this trail. You can turn your un-healthy body into a toned, well oiled machine in about a year's time. It only requires that you do this hike five to seven days a week and some modification of your diet. Almost anyone can do it. My wife and I are living proof. Since 4/11, we have lost a total of 60 pounds between us by following this simple program. We had some major motivation to begin after my wife had a tumor removed from her abdomen 1/11 which we attributed to our unhealthy lifestyle. In the beginning, I felt like I was about to die by the time I got up the first hill. By the time I got to the observatory, my body was stinging, and my lungs were heaving up mucus. I had to hit the albuterol inhaler to continue, as sweat poured from my body. By week three, I was feeling better. It helped that I stopped eating most dairy, meat, narcotic painkillers, and processed foods. I also stopped drinking alcohol and began to curtail the large amount of marijuana that I had been smoking on a daily basis for the last fifteen years. I switched to edibles and vastly increased my lung capacity and my capacity to do this hike. Fast. I have found that the feeling I get from regular exercise has solved 85% of my problems. I am only sorry that it took me 45 years to figure it out. Your results may vary, but not by much I suspect. Eventually, I started to seek out other places to hike. I re-discovered all of these wonderful places from my childhood such as Will Rogers, Topanga, Brand Park, Baldy, and San Gorgonio. My brother Paul convinced me to run down the hill on the Sam Merrill Trail in Altadena 2/12. I ran down every hill I hiked up thereafter and then started to run up. I am now running about 60 miles a week and sometimes many more. If you would have told me I would have been trail running 3 years ago, I would have taken another sip of beer and laughed my ass off. Since I began, I have gone out rain or shine, and have missed less than a dozen days. I have missed work more that I ever had in the past because the shittiest day hiking is better than the best day working. I notice several ads for fitness centers this January, and can say with a great deal of happiness that these places have nothing on this beautiful hike. Taking one or two hours to run on this trail will make the other 22 hours in your day run much more smoothly. I can't promise that you will get the same results, but face it, you have nothing to lose by trying. And you can't beat the price.

Will Rogers State Historical Park

This park and adjoining Topanga State Park contain some of the finest scenery in California. Yosemite it is not, but the subtle beauty of the mountains and the animals and plants that live and grow here more than compensate for the lack of landmarks like Half Dome. Your experience will be enhanced if you come here during the week, or are willing to hike a few miles into the back country on one of the fantastic trails contained therein. I would encourage everyone to hike at least as far as Lone Oak to get a sense of what I am talking about. It should take approximately an hour and a half to get there. Part of the trail is shaded. There are tons of hidden, unmarked trails crossing the Backbone Trail to provide you with countless hours of wonder and amusement. If you like birds, you are in for a treat, because this place is a fucking aviary. Seabirds, starlings, hawks, hummingbirds, kites and ravens are abundant. I saw a very large rattlesnake last time I came here, one of the largest I have ever seen. Please observe front and back country guidelines and remove your trash.

Topanga State Park

Topanga State Park encompasses nearly 40 square miles, and is the largest wilderness park inside of a major city. There are dozens of entrances, and to properly explore the Park, one would need at least a full year. I recommend getting a Tom Harrison Topographical Map of the Park if you are truly interested, even though it does not have a comprehensive list of all the trails. The park stretches across the Santa Monica Mountains from the Pacific Ocean, all the way down Sunset Blvd. past Will Rogers State Park and clear up to Encino. There are mountain lion in the park which you will probably never see, but what you will see are a hell of a lot of raptors. Primarily Red Tailed Hawk and White Tailed Kite. Additionally, there are hundreds of pair of beautiful ravens, crows, swifts, and scrub jays. There is a healthy rodent population, and during the summer, you are almost guaranteed a rattlesnake sighting if you go to the right places. Deer abound in the park and are not the slightest bit timid. The chaparral, oaks, wildflowers and other native plants are subtly beautiful during all four seasons. I like Winter the best, because this Park gets pretty hot during the Summer and if you are running long distances, the heat will surely sap your endurance. I recommend accessing Topanga State Park either through the gateway at Will Rogers via the Backbone Trail or from Topanga State Beach. In any event, I am sure you will appreciate the views of the Pacific Ocean, Catalina and Anacapa Islands, the Los Angeles Basin and Mt. San Antonio and San Gorgonio on a clear day. A true five star gem.