Saturday, October 26, 2013
Sno-cone Porn
Raspados Xpress
5540 Whittier Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90022
(323) 724-1033
On a blazing hot East Los Angeles afternoon, when the temperature makes the jump from 2 to 3 digits, this is the best place on earth. They carry exquisite Mexican snow cones made using fresh fruit, fruit juice, fruit salad, and other healthy, inexpensive treats, I ordered a large pineapple drink and closed my eyes for a moment, forgot about being physically located in a miserable strip mall, and imagined myself on a tropical beach. My drink had lots of pieces of pineapple contained therein. My wife ordered a raspado, esentially a large, glorified Mexican Snow Cone in a large plastic cup. The snow cone was covered in fresh pineapple, guyaba, and lime and was top notch. I will be back to try one of these later.
It is refreshing to go to a place where they use fresh fruit instead of heavily processed dog shit. On the way over to this place, I saw a sign at a fast food restaurant advertising their new Pop Tart Ice Cream Sandwich. What the fuck kind of an abomination is a Pop Tart Ice Cream Sandwich? Whoever comes up with shit like that should be tarred and feathered, buggered at high noon, and run out of town on a railroad handcar.
There are places like Raspados Xpress all over Mexico and Huntington Park which is similar to Mexico. I know that other places have shaved ice but raspados are better. Especially in this oppressive heat.
Hollywood Thai, Bro
Hollywood Thai
5241 Hollywood Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90027
(323) 467-0926
Hollywood Thai Restaurant
Category: Thai
Neighborhood: Hollywood
This place is a little bit more formal than some of the other places in the area. The food is just outstanding. And when we came in, it was busy as fuck, but they did not drop the ball and everything was perfectly prepared and nicely spiced. We ordered stir fried fish fillet with herbs, garlic and chili extra spicy. The boneless pieces of fish were lightly battered and fried with a heap of chili, garlic, lime leaves, and other Thai herbs. The seasoning on the fish was delicious and it could not have been improved under any circumstances.
The papaya salad is something that I order at every Thai place I ever walk into, unconditionally as a litmus test of the restaurant. I order it because it is one of the three best salads I have ever tasted in my life, and more importantly, because it is an exceedingly healthy salad prepared with no animal fat, fresh vegetables, tasty dressing, and a ton of dried red and fresh Thai chilies. The version of papaya salad prepared by the wonderful cooks in the kitchen here deserves a standing ovation. It is a perfect blend of chilies, fish sauce, sugar, lime, garlic, tomatoes, green bean, salty dried shrimp, peanut, and crispy green papaya. It was a nice big portion and I could have easily eaten another order it was so good.
"Oh, I can't possibly eat spaghetti. I'm not even Italian." Even though I have been eating it since 1984, I love Pad Thai. I can't stand it when phoney high-brow, luxury loft-dwelling, ten course tasting menu eating fucks declare that they are too sophisticated to order Pad Thai. For all you people that are too good to eat Pad Thai out there, it does not make you a better and more interesting person. So fuck you. The Pad Thai here is easily as good as anything I tasted at Melisse at a fraction of the cost, not as good as the Pad Thai KK at Yai Hollywood which is the best version EVER, but gourmet and worthy of five Yelp stars.
Eating this great dinner at Hollywood Thai was as good as food gets for sure.
Japanese Colonialism through imperial curry restaurant chains
Curry House
Categories: Japanese, Asian Fusion
Neighborhood: Koreatown
621 S Western Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90005
(213) 487-7180
When you start thinking about how the Japanese treated Korea last century, you realize it takes a great pair of balls to open a Japanese chain restaurant in the heart of Koreatown. It is kind of like opening up a Munich-style beer garden featuring live German music next to Nate and Al's or a Turkish Bathhouse in Downtown Glendale. Additionally, despite the rape of Manchuria, there is also a bustling location in Alhambra.
In addition to being a historically fierce and warlike people, the Japanese have perfected curry sauce. And the panko-breaded, deep-fried chicken cutlet. The most popular brand of curry in the world is S&B Brand. It has been manufactured in Japan since 1926 and are the suppliers of curry powder to the Curry House.
The chain is pretty consistent, and the food I got the other night tasted exactly as the first time I ordered it at the Little Tokyo Branch over 20 years ago though the prices have trebled. I got the chicken cutlet extra hot and upgraded to a large portion. Deceptively simple looking, you take a few bites of this dish and instantly understand why in a sea of competition, Curry House is the undisputed master of this dish. I probably won't eat here again for another dozen years or so because I make the mix at home, but for a chain restaurant, I really enjoy the food here.
I support the overthrow of the Pig-fucking Saudi Monarchy
Aramco Services Co
Neighborhood: Galleria/Uptown
2323 McCue Rd
Houston, TX 77056
(713) 621-5404
I recently contacted Aramco Services Co. and subscribed to the beautiful free magazine entitled Aramco World Magazine. I don't know if I mentioned that the magazine is absolutely beautiful, and has an array of stunning photographs of the Persian Gulf with an emphasis on Saudi Arabia.
The mission statement of the magazine is to educate the Western reader about the Arab World and the religion of Islam. The Saudis are incidentally the custodians of the two holiest sites of Islam, the cities of Mecca and Medina. Their government is a Monarchy, and they are in the unique position of sitting on the largest oil reserves in the world. The price is only increasing and the royal family is only getting richer. That is why they can afford to publish this lovely magazine and send it to subscribers like me free of charge. That is why they can get the District Attorney of Orange County to drop felony kidnapping and slavery charges when the Defendant is a Saudi Princess. That is why they can repress the Shiites with violence who traditionally come from the most oil rich regions of the country. That is why they can arm and fund Al Nusra, the Taliban, and any country that attacks the Indians. They can and do arm groups that inevitably will turn their weapons on Americans. But they don't talk about any of these things in their magazine. They don't talk about how many people in the Kingdom who are executed by beheading every year, nor about the people who have their right hands amputated because they stole something. They don't mention jihad.
Along with the United States and Israel, Saudi Arabia forms the third nation in the Axis of Troublemakers. The United States Government and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia have an unwritten agreement where we buy their oil in exchange for propping up their corrupt regime. I feel it is high time to rethink our relationship with these infidel thugs, stop selling them weapons, and stop purchasing their oil. Capital punishment is never a good idea, especially by beheading. I think if Americans really knew what this country was up to, they would probably start taking the bus.
Dal Rae not the Del Rey
Dal Rae Restaurant
Categories: Steakhouses, American (Traditional)
10/1/2013 1 check-in here
It was recently my eight year wedding anniversary and my wife declared that she was not having any Thai food. There she was barking orders at me to shower and put on something other than exercise clothes and take her to The Lobster. "How's about the Dal Rae?", I said. She likes the Dal Rae. The Dal Rae would be fine. I told her we would go after traffic died down a little, and got there at around 8.
The Del Rae evoked memories of Continental restaurants that a few decades ago were a dime a dozen but have all but disappeared from the landscape and replaced with multiple fast food outlets and pretentious nouvelle turds. You are going to remember things from way, way out of the past such as dim lighting, cold salad forks, a relish tray on ice, and a captain walking around inquiring about how your special dinner is going. The only thing missing was the piano player. The menu is also a throwback to the past as well. Caviar, Sand Dabs, Rack of Lamb, Chateaubriand for two, Steak Dianne, and all those other old warhorses are all still served here. Lobster Thermidor and Cherries Jubilee on a menu these days are almost as rare as unshaven bush.
Relish tray superb. Cold water. No strange looks when I said I was not having alcohol for dinner. Garlic cheese bread, another throwback to the 1950's was artery clogging nirvana. The iceberg wedge with blue cheese dressing served here makes you wonder who decided to get cute and put bacon and other monstrosities on this great salad. It is just lettuce, perfectly crispy and chilled with flawless blue cheese dressing on a cold plate. With a cold fork. Freshly cracked black pepper.
My wife, the vegetarian, ordered the pepper steak and asked me if I wanted a taste. For a brief moment, I was back in 1981 at the Chinatown Velvet Turtle sitting there across from my dad high on Quaaludes with my Dutch Boy haircut, braces, and checkered Vans eating the best pepper steak ever! The garlic mashed potatoes had way too much garlic. It was a very good steak. This is the place to go if you want to be romantic. It was as if somebody flipped a switch in my wife's brain that suddenly made her think I was a real Don Juan for taking her here.
I ordered Halibut ala Ben with a parmesan crust, lemon butter sauce, and caramelized onions on top. It was a great big portion of very fresh fish cooked perfectly. The baked potato that came with the halibut was really good, and the waitresses opened the potato and mixed it with butter, salt, sour cream, and chives at the table. And it came with asparagus, too. Even if you are of above-average weight and girth, it is a lot of food.
Where the fuck is Pico Rivera? It is a lower-middle class community between the 5 and the 605 in a land where men once had jobs in the aerospace industry and dignity, and where you could still get away with drinking three martinis for lunch and driving back to work drunk in your Buick Electra without any consequences.
More About CicLAvia
I applaud this event which proves that people can be drunk, civil and good to each other on two wheels. It builds a sense of community among Angelenos, promotes health and fitness, and advocates a clean environment. These are things we can all agree on.
In Los Angeles before the automobile, a lot of people assume that things must have been really easy and environmentally friendly. But that was not the case at all. People's horses urinated and defecated in the dirt streets of Downtown and when it rained, this mixed with the mud and, according to most sources, it smelled pretty foul down there. Men and women wore boots and had to scrape the horseshit off using the high curbs on the sidewalk. It was not very pleasant.
I advocate a car-free Downtown Los Angeles and support many major streets being closed to private motorized vehicles. Now that we have technology that is cleaner than both cars and horses, it is high time that we stop getting drunk on oil every single day and directly supporting repressive dictatorships like the Saudis by purchasing their petroleum. CicLAvia reminds me of how much nicer things would be in this great city with the absence of private vehicles. Bicycle and pedestrian access should be facilitated at least to the extent that it is in Amsterdam, and a people mover or a street car should be readily accessible in most areas of Los Angeles County to reduce congestion, pollution, property damage, and bodily injury caused by motor vehicles.
CicLAvia
CicLAvia restores my faith in humanity. I put the words Los Angeles into an anagram generator and out of 742 words, these are my favorite: Legal Noses, Angels Lose, Eel Slogans, No Leg Sales, All Sense Go, and Long Ass Eel. While this has little to do with CicLAvia, I came yesterday from K-town and rode to Mariachi Plaza in Boyle Heights and back. The event was just splendid! The perfect way to spend a beautiful Sunday afternoon. It makes me wonder why we cannot set up Downtown and K-Town more like Amsterdam.
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