I Hate that Fucking Food Network

The Food Network makes me sick. I see how that corporation is directly responsible for causing diabetes and chronic heart disease in tens of thousands of people. Maybe even hundreds of thousands. It is almost as bad as if the tobacco industry had a TV Station to glorify Marlboro Reds. Instead of inspiring people to eat healthy Italian food, this guy is smearing lard on toast. I wish I could kidnap that bastard and march him along the Pacific Crest Trail starting at 5am every morning and limit his diet to pine nuts and water. I would also require him to groom his facial hair and shave that goddamn pony tail off. With that said, I am glad he met Nancy Silverton because together they make a very good pizza. And those meatballs and chicken liver are pretty good too. Not everything is perfect, but almost everything is. If you arrive at 3:30 on a weekday and sit at the bar you will likely not wait too long and the service will be pretty friendly. I have come here many times and am highly critical about contemporary Italian food and can find nothing to complain about except the employee with the handlebar douchestache. I have also eaten next door, and think the pizza side is a better value.

Drew Winery in Boonville near a redwood grove

Some people, myself included, should never drink alcohol because their genetic code is booby trapped, and inevitably would do far less damage by consuming benzene. But then there are a lot of other people who seem to tolerate the substance well. We came into this place because my wife wanted some wine and it is located next door to one of the best Mendocino County Campgrounds imaginable. This area is awesome. Some guy came out and told us that they were closed, but asked us to come in anyway. He told us all about Pinot Noir grapes and it was very cool to see how passionate the dude was about his profession. I could see the smile on his face and the glint in his eye as he talked about his products. He sold her a bottle of Pinot that he said was named after his grandma and gave her half a bottle of pink wine free of charge. I have been to some other wineries under duress and just fucking hated that movie Sideways. I find the wine subculture to be nauseating and just blanch when someone starts talking Kendall Jackson, but this guy was really nice and the experience was just lovely.

Thai Noodle Soup Rant

You go to a lot of places these days where the chefs seem to forget that every salad began as shoots of green vegetables, a $150.00 Waygu steak with some delicious complicated sauce had an ancestor of bush meat roasted on a stick around a campfire, and soups began out of necessity when a family of Piltdown Men caught a rabbit instead of a deer. I really like soup, and believed that there were maybe ten classic soups. Most of them are really simple, consisting of less than perhaps ten ingredients. More than ten ingredients is a little too much for me. Take for instance, New England Clam Chowder. Clams, onions, celery, salt pork, potatoes, cream, black pepper. French Onion Soup. Veal stock, red onions, butter, olive oil, salt, sugar, pepper, bread and cheese. You can't improve them. The same is true for the others (conch chowder, gumbo, Black bean, Gazpacho, Spanish garlic soup, Lebanese Lentil, Pho dac biet, and finally, Soup du poisson). I guess after eating the CHICKEN LEG NOODLE SOUP WITH EGG NOODLES SPICY for the first time, I guess I have to make it eleven. This is a simple, flavorful, outstanding soup. No truffles, no Jidori Chicken, no nasturtiums, foam, or other debutante ingredients in this soup. Instead, for 6.95, you are going to get two giant chicken legs in a rich chicken stock with perfectly cooked egg noodles, a heap of perfectly roasted, dried red chili, enough garlic to satisfy any Korean, and a handful of bean sprouts. There is genius in simplicity. You will not easily forget this soup.

Boycott the Fuck Out of Pinkberry

I have come to the Little Tokyo location on numerous occasions after eating at Haru Ulala and have customarily ordered the salty caramel flavor. The coconut also tasted pretty good. After the co-founder of Pinkberry, Young Lee got out of his car on a freeway offramp last year and brutally assaulted a homeless man with a tire iron because he was offended at the guy's tattoo, I decided that I was no longer going to be patronizing this place. I urge each and every one of you to think twice before spending money here. Brutality against the most vulnerable members of our society is totally unacceptable. I want to buy dessert at a place where the co-founder stops to ask the name of a homeless person and decides to lend a fellow human being a helping hand. Just think for a brief moment about how difficult life is even for those of us who are not homeless. Those less fortunate than ourselves who suffer from debilitating mental illness and wind up out on the streets deserve our compassion and our protection. Those who brutalize them should spend no less than five years in the Folsom State Pen without the opportunity to make a civil compromise with the victim.

I Dig Leo Carrillo

This campground rocks! If you have children, dogs, or out of town guests, take them here for a night that you will never forget! If you want to hike or run on trails, you are in for a real treat. Start at the Willow Creek Trail head which starts about 20 feet from the front entrance of the park. Hike or run approximately four miles up that hill until you reach a fork in the road. Take a right, and go up to the top of the hill about another 1/3 of a mile. You will be rewarded with solitude, and some of the best views of Malibu imaginable. Red Tail Hawk, ravens, scrub jays, mule deer, and plenty of reptiles will be your companions on this dry, mostly exposed trail that heads through a wonderful canyon, up a ridge, and to pink sandstone steps that will leave you humbled and in awe. This is a great hike to take with children who will appreciate the gradual switchbacks and the exceedingly rewarding view at the top. I did this on Saturday evening and enjoyed myself so much that I could not wait to wake up and do it again on Sunday. I love being able to get a campsite here and then drive into LA to work for a few hours and then head back up the California Coast to this fantastic place to spend the night. Simply put, this is one of the best pieces of real estate anywhere in the world and it can be enjoyed for chump change at this great State Park. There are full facilities here and the beach is just a short walk under PCH and is a great place to explore the intertidal. Campsites are set among oak groves in a canyon, with hiking trails on one side. Despite the proximity to PCH, there is little road noise in comparison to, say, El Capitan State Beach. The canyon and the beach tend to get a little windy in the afternoon, but it tends to die down after a while. The camp store will sell you firewood and beer if you did not exercise care in packing your stuff. The hiking trails are Nicholas Flat and Willow Creek and you can go back pretty far and catch some other trails like Malibu Spring. There are deer, tarantula, morning dove and coyote in these parts, and views of the coast, spectacular canyons, rock formations and smog less blue sky. With fresh ling cod, salsa, beans, tortillas and corn on the cob cooked over the campfire, this great depression we are going through doesn't seem half bad.

Short Order, Short Temper

In the age of $5.00 gallons of gas, how can you get bent out of shape over a $14.00 burger? I am not particularly fond of Nancy Silverton, but I consider Pizza Mozza to be a worthy endeavor, so I was happy to walk by here last night and give it a try. The place was not very crowded and I found the servers to be most friendly and helpful. I ordered the Backyard Burger and found it to be juicy and flavorful with plenty of salt, a nice side of ketchup unlike that half-wit at Father's Office, and spicy mayo (not Siracha, sadly). The bacon was wonderful but not overpowering. The burger arrived perfectly Medium Rare, and the only complaint that I could muster is that the uniformly melted Comte is rather flavorless. This burger was outstanding, but allegedly so are the burgers of many other places in this great metropolitan area. With that in mind, it will be quite some time before I return to this place, but I most definitely will return one day. My wife got the chick pea patty which was considerably more flavorful than the burger. It had fresh, homemade harrissa and a very nice yogurt based sauce on top of two of the most flavorful, crispy falafel patties I have encountered. I do have to declare that it was strange eating this concoction inside of a bun and would have much preferred a pita but it was surprisingly good. She also ordered a very small root beer float. I mean it was so small it looked like it came in a Dixie Cup. And it carried a price tag of $5.00. Finally, the deep fried baked potato pieces are perfect in every way. I am kicking myself for not ordering the sour cream and bacon dip available for an extra $2.00. I came here again the other day and ordered the backyard burger and the regular fries. The burger was very nice and similar to a burger that I would cook at my house but without all the hassle. It was cooked the way I ordered it, and the bun almost held up until the end. I get a burger about once a month, and this one was certainly a treat. The fries were not cold, but rapidly getting there as I was seated upstairs. The ranch dressing was top notch. My wife got a grilled mushroom burger. I suspect she might be a comuniss, because anyone who orders a mushroom burger must hate America. Corn on the cob with cojita and tomatillo salsa was very good. When I got the check, I asked the guy if he could kindly get me a validation, and even though I had just shelled out $20.00 for my burger and fries, he refused and directed me to get it downstairs. When I got downstairs, the guy I asked refused to give me a validation. Maybe he was new or something, and I finally did get my validation, but it raised my blood pressure, made me want to smash things, eat a can of spinach, and run amok.

Santa Monica Seafood

It costs a dorsal fin and a gill to shop here but the $5.00 off coupon in the Los Angeles Times Food Section makes it a bit more tolerable. I have been coming here on a regular basis for the past year, stopping by on my way back home from Topanga State Park. The Pacific Rockfish can be an excellent choice most days. The freshly filleted pieces are very tasty seasoned with salt, freshly ground black pepper, red pepper, dredged in flour and pan fried in peanut or grapeseed oil until they are golden brown. At $8.99 a pound, you can't go wrong. Serve them with lime wedges, a fresh salsa, and some homemade tartar sauce. Yellowtail, shark, ling cod, and local halibut are a pretty good buy as well. The Pacific halibut is the most expensive of these four at $20.00 a pound, but is well worth it. They also have Alaskan Halibut, and Copper River Salmon in season as well as many East Coast fishes if you are a billionaire. If you come on a Monday or Tuesday and get local Pacific seafood, you are going to be mighty happy with your purchase here. All of the guys and gals at the counter and cash register are awesome. I feel like they make me feel very welcome every time I come in and are a big part of why I return so frequently. You and your family deserve fresh, good, clean and healthy food and this is an outstanding place to find it.