Pink's, Pink's, You Stink

Getting food here is like being assaulted with a deli weapon. It should be codified in the California Penal Code as a felony. It is absolutely reckless, just insidious to serve this fecal matter to people. Landmark my ass. More like skidmark. Fuck Pink's Hot Dogs!

Beverly Soon Tofu

Some people swear up and down that there is a huge difference among the small handful of soon tofu places in the area. I think that the soup base here is a little richer, and extra spicy is a little spicier than the same version at BCD and the place across the street, but all of these places are excellent. The seafood combination tofu here was under ten bucks, and came with seven banchan choices, and that delicious Korean purple rice. I ordered it extra spicy, and appreciated the inclusion of fresh jalapenos in addition to the heaping portion of red pepper. I love eating healthy, and Korean food is so nutritious and well thought out (as long as you are not stuffing your pie hole with AYCE BBQ). The nutrition that you are going to get from this wonderful tofu, 12 dishes of banchan, two orders of purple rice and a liter of barley tea will do your body good on the trail. I would like to add that this place has some excellent service. The ladies here are wonderful and they really made me feel welcome,comfortable, and happy while eating my lunch.

Joselito's Montrose: The shittiest Mexican Restaurant in Los Angeles

Sometimes when I am on the trail, the music of Pink Floyd touches my soul. Especially songs from the albums Wish You Were Here and Meddle. Some of those songs really speak to me and make running up and down punishing hills an effortless task. The combination of endorphins and those musical notes transport me to happy land. On the other end of the spectrum, I am sure there are millions of folk who's souls are touched by Rush Limbaugh. When Rush speaks on the radio, he is their Roger Waters. Rush makes it effortless for them to carry out their middle management duties in order to make those installment payments on the new refrigerator and the second mortgage. His broadcast is all the parts of Shine on You Crazy Diamond wrapped up into one. It reminds me that to each is own. Some people feel that Rush is a big sack of shit, but to others he is an inspiration. Some people think Pink Floyd sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Some people incomprehensibly think that Joselito's Chimichanga is tastiest fried burrito on planet earth. I guess what I am trying to say is that this place is terrible, even by Montrose standards.

I Hate that Fucking Food Network

The Food Network makes me sick. I see how that corporation is directly responsible for causing diabetes and chronic heart disease in tens of thousands of people. Maybe even hundreds of thousands. It is almost as bad as if the tobacco industry had a TV Station to glorify Marlboro Reds. Instead of inspiring people to eat healthy Italian food, this guy is smearing lard on toast. I wish I could kidnap that bastard and march him along the Pacific Crest Trail starting at 5am every morning and limit his diet to pine nuts and water. I would also require him to groom his facial hair and shave that goddamn pony tail off. With that said, I am glad he met Nancy Silverton because together they make a very good pizza. And those meatballs and chicken liver are pretty good too. Not everything is perfect, but almost everything is. If you arrive at 3:30 on a weekday and sit at the bar you will likely not wait too long and the service will be pretty friendly. I have come here many times and am highly critical about contemporary Italian food and can find nothing to complain about except the employee with the handlebar douchestache. I have also eaten next door, and think the pizza side is a better value.

Drew Winery in Boonville near a redwood grove

Some people, myself included, should never drink alcohol because their genetic code is booby trapped, and inevitably would do far less damage by consuming benzene. But then there are a lot of other people who seem to tolerate the substance well. We came into this place because my wife wanted some wine and it is located next door to one of the best Mendocino County Campgrounds imaginable. This area is awesome. Some guy came out and told us that they were closed, but asked us to come in anyway. He told us all about Pinot Noir grapes and it was very cool to see how passionate the dude was about his profession. I could see the smile on his face and the glint in his eye as he talked about his products. He sold her a bottle of Pinot that he said was named after his grandma and gave her half a bottle of pink wine free of charge. I have been to some other wineries under duress and just fucking hated that movie Sideways. I find the wine subculture to be nauseating and just blanch when someone starts talking Kendall Jackson, but this guy was really nice and the experience was just lovely.

Thai Noodle Soup Rant

You go to a lot of places these days where the chefs seem to forget that every salad began as shoots of green vegetables, a $150.00 Waygu steak with some delicious complicated sauce had an ancestor of bush meat roasted on a stick around a campfire, and soups began out of necessity when a family of Piltdown Men caught a rabbit instead of a deer. I really like soup, and believed that there were maybe ten classic soups. Most of them are really simple, consisting of less than perhaps ten ingredients. More than ten ingredients is a little too much for me. Take for instance, New England Clam Chowder. Clams, onions, celery, salt pork, potatoes, cream, black pepper. French Onion Soup. Veal stock, red onions, butter, olive oil, salt, sugar, pepper, bread and cheese. You can't improve them. The same is true for the others (conch chowder, gumbo, Black bean, Gazpacho, Spanish garlic soup, Lebanese Lentil, Pho dac biet, and finally, Soup du poisson). I guess after eating the CHICKEN LEG NOODLE SOUP WITH EGG NOODLES SPICY for the first time, I guess I have to make it eleven. This is a simple, flavorful, outstanding soup. No truffles, no Jidori Chicken, no nasturtiums, foam, or other debutante ingredients in this soup. Instead, for 6.95, you are going to get two giant chicken legs in a rich chicken stock with perfectly cooked egg noodles, a heap of perfectly roasted, dried red chili, enough garlic to satisfy any Korean, and a handful of bean sprouts. There is genius in simplicity. You will not easily forget this soup.

Boycott the Fuck Out of Pinkberry

I have come to the Little Tokyo location on numerous occasions after eating at Haru Ulala and have customarily ordered the salty caramel flavor. The coconut also tasted pretty good. After the co-founder of Pinkberry, Young Lee got out of his car on a freeway offramp last year and brutally assaulted a homeless man with a tire iron because he was offended at the guy's tattoo, I decided that I was no longer going to be patronizing this place. I urge each and every one of you to think twice before spending money here. Brutality against the most vulnerable members of our society is totally unacceptable. I want to buy dessert at a place where the co-founder stops to ask the name of a homeless person and decides to lend a fellow human being a helping hand. Just think for a brief moment about how difficult life is even for those of us who are not homeless. Those less fortunate than ourselves who suffer from debilitating mental illness and wind up out on the streets deserve our compassion and our protection. Those who brutalize them should spend no less than five years in the Folsom State Pen without the opportunity to make a civil compromise with the victim.