Fuck those Shit-Stains at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles

The chicken and waffles here are good, but what really sets this place apart is the fucked up service. I don't want to spend my money tipping people that clearly do not like me. Give me fried chicken, but let me keep my dignity.

California Donuts Uber-Alles

I was so stoned last night I needed some cheap sugar more than anything else in the world. And not just any sugar, but the cheap, deep fried kind that the lovely ladies here at California Donuts use to coat the god-like stuff behind the glass that lure me off 3rd St. like Hansel and Gretel. Sometimes I want cheap refined sugar instead of the natural variety. Sometimes I prefer warm pieces of donut with heavily processed apple filling for under a dollar. Sometimes I get a few of the coconut glazed or maybe an old fashioned or two. I don't get donuts very often but when I do, this is usually the place. California Donuts will surely solve your sweet food jones for a small handful of change and will help you realize the full potential of your inner Lard Ass. Fuck driving to Glendora to get some dumb ass strawberry donut when there is a place like this with real character just around the corner. Everything I have tried has been good, sweet and cheap. I just wish they had a little better coffee. It seems like everyone patronizing this place always seems so happy. The family that does insulin together stays together.

Sapp is for saps

I wanted to try this place a few more times so that I could post a more objective and informed review. While I enjoyed the Jade Noodles, and the ground chicken with basil and garlic with a fried egg on top, I have some bones to pick with this place. Firstly, the portions are miniscule. The som tom that I ordered yesterday was a nice sized amount for a ground squirrel. Seriously, it amounted to no more than a cup and a half of salad for nearly seven bucks. To add insult to injury, the spice level here was strictly amateur hour and it had way too much tamarind in the dressing. I like my papaya salad hotter than hell. H2SO4. H E double L Hockey Sticks. Hotter than Hades. Something so spicy that it would make a Korean cry. This was just plain lame. The Jade noodles were about the best thing I have tried here, but watch out for the pile of sugar contained therein. Shovel a little bit out before you mix them up. Other than the sugar, the duck, crab, pork and Chinese Broccoli are great toppings. Unfortunately once again, the spice level was fit for Romper Room. You should be ashamed to represent that as Thai hot, bow your head in shame, Chef Sapp. The ground chicken here was good but nowhere near memorable. Not a contender. When I got the check, I noticed that I was charged for two orders of Jade Noodles when I only ordered one.

Tam O'Shanter Glorified Swanson Hungry Man TV Dinners for 100 Bucks

I come here on occasion for business dinners. Without fail, the hostess will always tell us that Walt Disney used to sit here. That fucktard was inspired by the architecture here when he thought up Disneyland. The food is bland, a study of mediocrity, a glorified Swanson Hungry ManTV Dinner. Vegetables, especially the creamed spinach, are decent. The place needs a deep cleaning. It smells like the floor of the Viper Room in here.

Pink's, Pink's, You Stink

Getting food here is like being assaulted with a deli weapon. It should be codified in the California Penal Code as a felony. It is absolutely reckless, just insidious to serve this fecal matter to people. Landmark my ass. More like skidmark. Fuck Pink's Hot Dogs!

Beverly Soon Tofu

Some people swear up and down that there is a huge difference among the small handful of soon tofu places in the area. I think that the soup base here is a little richer, and extra spicy is a little spicier than the same version at BCD and the place across the street, but all of these places are excellent. The seafood combination tofu here was under ten bucks, and came with seven banchan choices, and that delicious Korean purple rice. I ordered it extra spicy, and appreciated the inclusion of fresh jalapenos in addition to the heaping portion of red pepper. I love eating healthy, and Korean food is so nutritious and well thought out (as long as you are not stuffing your pie hole with AYCE BBQ). The nutrition that you are going to get from this wonderful tofu, 12 dishes of banchan, two orders of purple rice and a liter of barley tea will do your body good on the trail. I would like to add that this place has some excellent service. The ladies here are wonderful and they really made me feel welcome,comfortable, and happy while eating my lunch.

Joselito's Montrose: The shittiest Mexican Restaurant in Los Angeles

Sometimes when I am on the trail, the music of Pink Floyd touches my soul. Especially songs from the albums Wish You Were Here and Meddle. Some of those songs really speak to me and make running up and down punishing hills an effortless task. The combination of endorphins and those musical notes transport me to happy land. On the other end of the spectrum, I am sure there are millions of folk who's souls are touched by Rush Limbaugh. When Rush speaks on the radio, he is their Roger Waters. Rush makes it effortless for them to carry out their middle management duties in order to make those installment payments on the new refrigerator and the second mortgage. His broadcast is all the parts of Shine on You Crazy Diamond wrapped up into one. It reminds me that to each is own. Some people feel that Rush is a big sack of shit, but to others he is an inspiration. Some people think Pink Floyd sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Some people incomprehensibly think that Joselito's Chimichanga is tastiest fried burrito on planet earth. I guess what I am trying to say is that this place is terrible, even by Montrose standards.