Friday, March 28, 2014

Whiz


3901 W 6th St
Los Angeles, CA 90020
(213) 249-9449

Whiz  

Not being from the East Coast, the word Whiz has different connotations to me so I was reluctant to enter this place.  Additionally, I am on a special diet that consists of 50% fresh vegetables and fruits, 40% Carbs and 10% Protein so I can't be eating like Chris Christie or Kirstie Alley or I am not going to be able to run very far now, am I?  One day per month, I defile the temple that is my body and eat some seriously unhealthy shit.  Today was that day, so I ordered the Italian Stallion Hoagie even though I am not an Italian.   I can usually find something wrong with anything, but this was a sandwich of excellence.  You know, I really felt like I had just smoked crack after I ate that hoagie.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Claro's Italian Deli


159 E College St
Covina, CA 91723
(626) 339-3333

Claro's Italian Market  

Categories: ItalianDelisCaterers 
3.0 star rating
 3/15/2014
Nice sandwich with a great sharp provolone and other quality ingredients. The bread, however, tasted worse than Soylent Green.  Excellent counter service with professional, polite people who made me feel quite welcome.  I had always thought that Covina was a village full of idiots limited to the automobile dealerships, dilapidated shopping malls, Friday's, and the Olive Garden parallel to the 10FWY.  I had no idea that there was a quaint little shopping district with killer antique stores and some nice Craftsman style homes located just a few blocks north.  I had been reading about Claro's on Yelp for a little while.   I was not disappointed, but I was not impressed either.  I feel that the sandwich offered at the Roma Deli is far superior.  While I did not have too much time to examine the contents of the grocery department, what I saw sure looked good.

A Good Tailor Shop


827 S Main St
Los Angeles, CA 90014
(213) 622-9942

Mike's Tailor Shop  

Category: Sewing & Alterations
Neighborhood: Downtown LA
A suit always feels like a straightjacket to me.  A tie, like a hangman's noose.  I'm not into dress shoes, and not qualified to discuss fashion.  My oldest brother is a clothes horse and in my late 40's, I still inherit his hand me downs.  He recently gave me a black Armani suit and and a dark blue one from Nordstrom's.  He mentioned something about a high price tag, something about the fabric and some other incomprehensible babble .  He also gave me a white suit which I immediately threw in the trash.

Mike has been tailoring my straightjackets ever since 1982.  I took in those two suits my brother gave me, and he had both of them pinned up in just a few minutes.  He had to take quite a bit of fabric off, and make the suits significantly smaller as well as tapering and hemming the pants.  When I came to pick them up and tried them on, I was really impressed with the way they fit.  They are like perfect custom tailored suits that I could wear to any event.  My wife liked my custom tailored straightjacket so much when I tried it on for her that she promptly unbuttoned and unzipped it.

I paid 135 for the alterations on both suits.  It was a little steep, but they did such a good job, it was money well spent  Mending is better than ending.  Get your older brother to hand you down a suit and take it here.  You are going to like the way your straightjacket fits.

Israeli Street Food on Melrose


7422 Melrose Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90046
(323) 944-0013

Ta-eem Grill  

Categories: MediterraneanKosher
Neighborhood: Fairfax
4.0 star rating
 3/18/2014
The laffa is about the size of Chris Christie's lunch hoagie.  You could cut it in half and still satisfy two hungry people of normal girth and body weight.  The food is tasty, but I would had preferred to have the option of ordering a smaller laffa because this thing was overkill. The salads tasted fresh, but were a little heavy on the oil.  I got the eggplant tomato, hummus, babaghanoush, and some cucumber and tomato salad.  The chicken was good, crispy, well seasoned, not too salty, and well seasoned with "secret" shawerma spices.  Once again, too much meat.  The salads and harissa were included in the 10 price tag. What stood out more than the food was the great service.  The owner came up and brought me some additional sauces, and inquired as to whether I was enjoying my meal.  I appreciated his concern and he seemed like a cool cat .  I can't wait to return to try the falafel.  As for the location, if you are familiar with this area, you will know that it is very short on parking.  Save yourself a headache and walk or take the bus.  Pretty damn good street food, not the healthiest food around, but much better than a cheesesteak or burger and nutritious and well seasoned to boot.

Super King


7227 Van Nuys Blvd
Van Nuys, CA 91405
(818) 464-432



Super King Market  
Category: Grocery
Neighborhood: Van Nuys
Maybe you are not one of the anointed ones who can afford to spend $4.00 on a bunch of beets, or are able to pay five or six times for tomatoes than I do.  I avoid the Valley like the ebola, and it was just plain weird that I found myself in that area yesterday on a work assignment.  Although I am a Los Angeles Native Son, I have not spent much time in the Valley at least since the late 1970's and the early 1980's.  I remember going to Phases Nightclub, Gozilla's in Sun Valley, as well as the now defunct Busch Gardens and other landmarks long gone.  I have gone to the Valley maybe three dozen times since 1986, mostly to eat Middle Eastern food.

The Valley of the 1970's is a blurry figment of our lame memories.  It has instead become this giant, decaying shithole with traffic and super global warming.  But there is the occasional gem of a place like Super King.

If you are a vegetarian, you would be surprised at how many meals you can buy at this market for 20 bucks.  I figure about nine (9) meals, and gourmet ones at that.

Asparagus: .99/lb.  green, fresh, and identical to the 2.99 asparagus at Von's
Cluster Tomatoes .59/lb instead of 1.59 at Ralphs
Beets (small red) .79 per bunch
Dill .50
Persian Cucumbers .59/lb
Italian Squash 1.00/4 lbs

You will find all kinds of other great stuff such as dried fruits, nuts and seeds.  I was totally impressed with this market.  It would be worth the drive from K-Town.  High praises!

One of the Best Chicken Kebabs I Have Ever Tried


1135 W Glenoaks Blvd
Glendale, CA 91202
(818) 500-4005

Cafe Bravo  

Categories: Middle EasternMediterranean
Neighborhood: Glendale
They say hunger makes the best sauce.  Plato is the person originally credited with the quote, and sometimes it is attributed to Miguel de Cervantes.  Whoever said it was a pretty smart fucker.  See, I had been at Brand Park a little earlier with my wife completing a very difficult and lengthy run with lots of elevation gain and loss.  I was so famished by the time we finished that I probably would have eaten Filipino food.  Luckily, I drove by here and saw about ten people leaving with takeout while I waited at the traffic light.  So thankfully I parked and we came in because this place has one of the best chicken kebabs I have ever tasted.  It is boneless and skinless dark and white meat marinated in what I suspect may be dilaudid, expertly grilled by someone who has a lot of broiler experience.  Brillat-Savarin was correct. Grilling chicken perfectly is an artistic feat no less delicate than a charcoal drawing by Goya.  Or a Harvard-trained cosmetic surgeon performing a magnificent breast enhancement and racheting up sagging vagina so it no longer hangs like sleeve of wizard.  These guys have PhD in grilling chicken.  I chose eggplant and tomato salad, tabouleh and rice.  The eggplant was good and the tabouleh was fresh.  I ordered it with an extra kebab and it was a hell of a lot of quality, healthy food for the ridiculously low price of ten bucks.   My wife got a gyro sandwich which actually was two sandwiches with Chris Christie approved quantities of two different salads.  Fuck yeah.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I Advocate 5150 WIC Holds for the Morbidly Obese and Institutionalization in State Mental Hospitals

It was Reagan who as Governor began the process of de-institutionalization, but I was surprised to learn that it was actually that turd, Pete Wilson who closed Camarillo State Hospital.  The issue of mental health treatment is an issue that is very dear to me.  It is an issue that is inevitably very dear to anyone who has cared for a relative suffering from acute paranoid schizophrenia or a variety of other serious mental illnesses.  As caretakers, we have all traveled down the same path.  Some are still suffering while their loved ones refuse treatment and go through cycles of homelessness, self-medication, and victimization by predators.  Others have been able to provide a modicum of stability for their mentally ill loved ones and create and maintain a support network.  There are a million other permutations that could apply to a situation where you care for a loved one with a serious mental illness.  I only mentioned two of them.  Hospitalization is of course, another.

All of us noticed something different in our mentally ill relatives from an early age, most likely between the ages of 10 and 13.  Then, there was the manifestation of the illness and a major increase in symptoms during the teenage years and into young adulthood when a hospitalization inevitably took place.  Most likely, the first treatments and therapies were not effective.  There was the self medication. Alcohol, stimulants, opiates.  Chronic smoking.  It helps make them feel better.  But it also involves them in the criminal justice system, exposes them to blood born illnesses, and once again, predators.  Compliance with medication is always a problem.  It is hard to identify what is happening.  You have no idea what the fuck a paranoid schizophrenic is unless you are a mental health professional or a student.  It is not something that even the smart layperson can identify.  The same goes for the many variants of serious mental illness. Unless you know what to look for, you have no idea what is going on.  You may just think that they are doing it intentionally.

Then comes the first time that your relative is hospitalized and the psychiatrist actually gets the diagnosis correct.  What a shock to learn about something so serious!  And it may go hand and hand with a criminal case, or concurrent diagnosis with another serious illness such as HIV.  Facing a judge in criminal court is not an appropriate mechanism for the treatment of the mentally ill.  Controlled substance possession, sales, and prostitution are all part and parcel to serious mental illness so our prisons are crawling with untreated individuals who are exceedingly ill.  Prison is only going to make them more self destructive and more dangerous.  Any type of coerced outpatient treatment program imposed by the criminal justice system is likely to fail.

But there are good doctors out there with heavy clinical experience.  County mental health programs and mental illness free clinics in large cities are typically good places to begin, and are usually free.  The problem is getting the people to go.  They are not going to want to go in most cases.  Even after a hold, their participation is simply voluntary, and they are free to go back out on the streets and harm themselves.  Thank you Mister Reagan and Mr. Wilson.  I believe Dante has a seat for both of you in a deep ring of hell.  But there is hope for those that want to get better, have a support network and are lucky enough to encounter a good Psychiatrist with clinical experience that can help you get to the bottom of things.

Underneath the exterior of every homeless person is someone's brother, sister, son, daughter, mom or dad.  They don't want to have those things going through their heads.  Trust me.  If they could be more like everyone else, they would elect to.  Their recovery is usually possible.  Don't give up on them.   The de-institutionalization of the seriously mentally ill was and is a crime against humanity.  Placing defenseless people on the street and exposing them to predators, narcotics, and early death is not an indiction of a compassionate and sane society.  How dare we force democracy down the throats of other nations and carpet bomb when they refuse to follow our orders when we cannot even take care of our own population of mentally ill people.  Instead of several thousand 1.5 million dollar Tomahawk Missiles, how about spending some money to treat these people and open up places where they can be safe and hope to lead a better life?

Morbidly obese people fall into the category of mental illness.  Endocrine problems my ass.  It is self-destructive, uncontrolled behavior.  They are victimized by predators such as Hostess, Jimmy Dean, Paula Deen, Oscar Mayer and Ronald McDonald.  The amount of resources consumed by the fattest Americans contributes to the destruction of the earth and makes things quite expensive for our health care system.  Like others with serious mental illness, the fattest people in California need to be placed into institutions under WIC holds and treated for morbid obesity forthwith.  Even if you are a staunch conservative and Rush (Limbaugh) is music to your ears, you have to realize that at the rate we are going, there are not going to be any people fit to serve in the military in the near future if America keeps up its eating habits.  So we got to do something quick or we may even be eating borscht, because the Russians are going to take us over.

I propose an Atascadero for fat people.  A new Camarillo with a focus on a healthy lifestyle.  And the cessation of any business that contributes to the poisoning of America.  And of course, the expanded availability of mental health treatment and the re-opening of State Mental Hospitals across California.  We could just get the hell out of Afghanistan, Iraq, Africa, get rid of a couple of aircraft carrier groups and send some of those dumb-ass generals into retirement and have plenty of money to fund everything a million times over.