Brief Thoughts on Van Halen

Recently, I was watching the Van Halen Story on Hulu, and I realized that I have quite ambivalent feelings towards the band. I reject, at the outset, the concept of Van Halen without David Lee Roth, and whatever you say about the Van Halen brothers, they were just Diamond Dave's backing band. The first time I heard Van Halen was in 1978 and I was in 6th Grade. It failed to make an impact on me, and I did not revisit it again until 1985. It was at this time that I listened to Diver Down, and while I enjoyed it, it was not my favorite. David Lee Roth is without a doubt one of the biggest douches ever to dance on stage, but he has an inherent coolness about him as well. I ran into Dave a couple of times at a sushi bar in Glendora. He was rip roaring drunk and extremely friendly. I remember thinking that he must have to ice one of those women he was with down to make like he was fucking a corpse to get turned on. I did not envy him too much. After all, how many pieces of sushi can you eat in a day? How many chicks can you ice down in your jacuzzi and tell them to lie still while you pound their cold hard bodies? And then what are you going to do? To sum up Van Halen music consisted of way too much wheedling on the guitar, and Dave was like a coked out Jim Dandy. They were no doubt talented. The people who liked them were the conformists. Their was nothing rebellious about Van Halen fans. A few months ago, I listened to Hang Em High which is one of their best songs. But for each Hang Em High, there are five turds of songs like Jump.