El Sangrante Picante

El Sangrante Picante 11th and Union, 90015 Some people say the best carnitas are sold at the truck outside of Shatto Lanes. Some people say that carnitas are all the same. But I know where the carnitas are not lame. El Sangrante Picante. Located on the Southwest corner of 11th and Union, this is clearly the best taco truck I have ever had the pleasure of eating at. The Vampiro here is the Vampiro by which all Vampiros should be judged. It is a true delight, even if you are a big Beaver Dracula. I talked to the owner/cook and he told me that his cousin drives all the way out to Riverside a couple of times per week to pick up a "special" pig that they use to make the carnitas. For the last two weeks of it's life, they feed it a secret diet of "sustainable protein" and beer until it is ready to slaughter. Then, they render it, buche and all, in a big copper kettle and use imported Hinoki wood to make the fire. That combination of special feed and copper kettle make this one exquisite pig who died for a good reason. As the old saying goes, "Hinoki wood is better than hokey wood!" So stuff your taco with porky goodness and douse it with the outstanding green tomatillo sauce with just a hint of fresh epazote. You never finished pork this fast and sloppy since high school. If you are of above average weight and girth, there is an all you can eat option available for $24.00. I know more than a few people who may take advantage of this great deal. I even know one such guy on Yelp who is probably going to write a shitty rap song about it. Get there early because they only cook one pig at a time and it tends to run out pretty quickly. The salsas are all exemplary. The habanero salsa is especially nice. They even give you a free side of pinto beans served in a styrene foam cup similar to the ones served at Mexicali Tacos but with the addition of chorizo made from the special pig. But wait, if you are a vegetarian, they have bloody clam ceviche made with soy clams. Tell the guy at the window "soy almeja" and they will dish it up. Tell them "bien caliente" and point to your belly if you want it extra spicy. Much better than La Cevicheria, but without that annoying sonofabitch that can't keep his pie hole shut. It just doesn't get any better than this. You can get a bootleg video of Matt Damon in Elysium from a guy who's breath smells like mothballs. You can even get a Hello Kitty blanket or a $20.00 rock without any references whatsoever. You can brown bag your fifth quart of Papsmear Blue Ribbon and no one is going to trip. Drinking proletarian brew makes one a Bohemian as does burning a candle in an empty Chianti bottle. It is a real carnival atmosphere. At least it was when I came here. Usually, I don't eat at taco trucks because I don't want to pick up ascaris, but there is something about these people that I trust. Carne asada here makes El Taurino look like Del Fucking Taco bro. The carnitas here are even better than Freebird's. Sadly, there is no special pig. All of those things I described in the above paragraphs are granfaloons. There is no soy anything or any seafood for that matter. As it turns out, this is just a regular, run of the mill taco trailer. It is not even a truck. They sure are good, though!