Lawrence Welk was an asshole

A lot of Poles come into my work and inevitably I start talking about food with them. I mention that I have been here and to the other more somber Polish restaurant in Santa Monica. They all tell me that Polish food in Los Angeles is marginal at best, and if you want to get some good Polish food, you have to go over to someone's house. One lady told me that Polka serves Polish food cooked by Guatemalans. I am waiting for an invitation. I came here and got a plate that had stuffed cabbage leaves, sausage, and about four or five other different things. The owner was really friendly, and offered me a can of beer. The food was prepared ahead of time, but it was tasty. I enjoyed each and every dish. When I read Yelp reviews from cities in the Rust Belt with a great selection of Eastern European restaurants I am green with envy. But this place is pretty good. Five stars? En tus suenos, guey! I had no idea that disgusting turd Guy Fieri did a show here. Someone needs to stuff an apple into that pig's mouth. Guy is the worst thing to happen to entertainment since the invention of the snuff film or perhaps the birth of Robin Williams. The cavalier way that he peddles that unhealthy lifestyle to America directly causes thousands of heart attacks annually. He is the younger, male version of that fat pig Paula Deen who's true crime is not being a racist (cause we all knew that anyway) but promoting a lifestyle of death to America on television. The Food Network has killed more Americans than Al Qaeda!