Miller is for Fuckheads

Miller, the embalming fluid of beers, ought to be ashamed of themselves for sponsoring the Tools For Success Graduation award in our local community college automobile programs for several reasons. Firstly, the Miller Brewing Company produces dangerous, sub-standard products that contribute to numerous automobile accidents on a daily basis. Miller Beer is involved in hundreds if not thousands of automobile collisions every year and many of them are fatal. Alcohol manufacturers and automobile technology and repair should be mutually exclusive. Instead, we should force the alcoholic beverage industry to retrofit every existing automobile with an ignition interlock device and force the automotive industry to make this a standard feature on all new cars. Secondly, Miller targets the Tools for Success program at Latinos. Alcohol is simply a poison for people who are mestizo or indigenous with almost no exceptions, instantly addicting and frequently fatal. It is a terrible idea to drink any alcohol whatsoever if you are of Mexican descent. It is clearly a genetic condition that does not allow us to drink alcohol in moderation and without horrible consequences like other people. Miller should be ashamed of giving free tools away, and the winners should be ashamed of taking them. It is like targeting a group of people who are at risk of cancer and giving them a catalyst. Finally, community colleges are not an appropriate advertising platform for alcoholic beverages or other mind altering drugs. If anything, it should be a platform for educating people about the dangers of alcohol. Public schools should not participate in the program or allow Miller to distribute applications and paraphernalia with the Miller logo to its students or set up displays on campus. I know that it may seem like a big great philanthropic deal to have an alcohol manufacturer award a full cabinet of tools to an outstanding graduate of an automotive technology program, but if you consider it for a while, I am sure you can see how deceptive Miller truly is.