London on Virgin Atlantic: Benny Hill and those Retarded Royals

I decided to visit England a little while ago. I had always been a great admirer of Benny Hill, the most influential Brit of the 20th Century, and I got a good deal on my ticket. The English people seemed pretty friendly. It is too bad that their government consents to being our pet poodle. When I got to London, I dedided to take a little trip over to Brixton. It seemed remarkably similar to one of our own marginalized areas, but I felt safer walking around because fewer people and their mothers carry firearms. I decided to buy some weed, but did not have any references. I asked a friendly bloke, and he told me to head up this street until I reached a pub named "The Plug", at which point I was to make a right and continue walking until I reached the Green Leaf Cafe. He told me to go in and order a Coke from the black geezer inside, and they would know what I came in for. I followed the directions, and arrived at the cafe and ordered the beverage like the guy told me. The guy opened a kettle on the counter, and showed me the merchandise. It was a little steep for 20 fucking quid, but when in Rome.

I got to visit the British Museum, and wound up taking three days there alone. The other museums that I visited, such as the National Portrait Gallery and the Tate Modern were awesome as well. I also visited the Tower of London, and Buckingham Palace. That Royal Family is ugly as fuck. If I had all that princely money, I would buy a new face and new hair color. I have no idea what the obsession with these inbred fucks is all about, but it was interesting to see the palace and crown jewels. The problem with Monarchy is that even the good kings are bad. I would like to see all their heads on pikes. Pikes Peak of course.

I thought the cost of food in London was highway robbery. The best deal that you are going to find on food is at the Kensington Farmer's Market. You can get a big sandwich for 2 pounds. Shawerma in Notting Hill is awesome too.

As to Virgin Atlantic, all I can say is that I took a smorgasborg of pills before I got on the plane, when I woke up mid-flight, and the balance when I arrived at Heathrow. I have no idea what transpired while we were flying across the pond. But it must have been okay, becuase they were not waiting for me with handcuffs at the terminal.