Open Letter to the Consul General of the Republic of Mexico in Los Angeles

Dear Consul General for the Republic of Mexico: 

Please be  advised that I have some helpful suggestions to assist you and your fellow countrymen in overcoming the obesity epidemic that threatens to kill more people of atherosclerosis and diabetes than your bloody fucking drug war.  It has recently come to my attention that Mexico has now surpassed the United States and has emerged as the fattest country in the world.  It comes as no big surprise, and it has been about 20 years in the making, but make no mistake about it, you, your morbidly obese little kids, y tu pinche puta madre are fat for a reason.  Or rather, reasons.  

Mexicans are not genetically programmed to eat things like macaroni and cheese, enriched white Bimbo Bread, Gansitos, Chocomil, Ding Dongs, carne de res, Fud Hot Dogs and lunch meats, pork, wheat, refined sugar, butter, milk, and sandwiches.  Mexicans had a decent diet for millennia, and after the conquest, the obesity epidemic certainly did not take place.  They did not get morbidly obese on Pallella so don't blame the Spaniards.  It happened after the Costco and Sam's Club conquest when people stopped buying their tortillas at the neighborhood tortilleria and instead went to Costco where their culture was essentially placed into the dumpster and replaced with a food culture that is not well tolerated genetically by people from this region.  And an alcohol culture that may just be as harmful as the food that the Yanquis peddle to them.  

Mexicans should be eating deer meat, grasshoppers, non-GMO corn, squash, chilies, fish, nuts, chocolate, berries, verdologas, small mammals, fowl, chocolate, and ant's eggs.  Did I mention American Cheese?  No, I did not, because it is just unnatural.   Did I mention In N Out Burger?  No, because Mexicans weren't designed to eat that abomination.  If you do not believe in evolution, please refer to your nation's obesity crisis as proof in the puddin' so to speak.  

So senor, while you ponder your next move, please consider what I have written and pass my message on.  Now, if only Michelle Obama had the courage to say to Black America that they would overcome 90% of their collective health problems by following a traditional African diet of groundnuts, bushmeat, grasscutter  cassava, fish, fufu, and native vegetables instead of eating smothered pork chops, ribs, fired chicken, and cornbread…..