Bathroom Buddies and Park Pals at Ferndell

Almost every time that I have used the men's room here I have either been propositioned for sex by some deviant or a plainclothes LAPD Detective attempts to strike up a conversation with me when I am smack in the middle of urinating. I understand that people be horny, and cops got a quota to meet, but I am trying to take a piss before I start running on the trail, not engage in mutual masturbation in a shithouse at the park. Hey guys, there are these things called bathhouses all over the City where you can get your lewd conduct on to your heart's content, legally. The restroom here is not a motel, and I would like to remind certain people that it is fifty feet from the playground.

Lawrence Welk was an asshole

A lot of Poles come into my work and inevitably I start talking about food with them. I mention that I have been here and to the other more somber Polish restaurant in Santa Monica. They all tell me that Polish food in Los Angeles is marginal at best, and if you want to get some good Polish food, you have to go over to someone's house. One lady told me that Polka serves Polish food cooked by Guatemalans. I am waiting for an invitation. I came here and got a plate that had stuffed cabbage leaves, sausage, and about four or five other different things. The owner was really friendly, and offered me a can of beer. The food was prepared ahead of time, but it was tasty. I enjoyed each and every dish. When I read Yelp reviews from cities in the Rust Belt with a great selection of Eastern European restaurants I am green with envy. But this place is pretty good. Five stars? En tus suenos, guey! I had no idea that disgusting turd Guy Fieri did a show here. Someone needs to stuff an apple into that pig's mouth. Guy is the worst thing to happen to entertainment since the invention of the snuff film or perhaps the birth of Robin Williams. The cavalier way that he peddles that unhealthy lifestyle to America directly causes thousands of heart attacks annually. He is the younger, male version of that fat pig Paula Deen who's true crime is not being a racist (cause we all knew that anyway) but promoting a lifestyle of death to America on television. The Food Network has killed more Americans than Al Qaeda!

Roxsan

I come in here once a month to pick up medication for a close friend of mine who no longer drives. I have always been treated well by the staff here and have never experienced any problems. They have a contract with Los Angeles County Department of Health, and if you are enrolled in one of those programs, you will get your meds at zero cost. I see a lot of very wealthy junkies getting their legal fix here and notice they have a compounding counter. Additionally, lots of women who should never be having children because they are way too fucking old, have withered, yellow fallopian tubes, and are inviting birth defects seem to come in here for fertility medication. Some people obviously never read Mary Shelley. In comparison with other chain pharmacies in the area, this place rocks.

COS

America was founded by religious malcontents, indentured servants, slaves, convicts, and con men. This is an amicus curiae review for the COS. Nobody has any right to talk shit about these people's beliefs. Scientology is no stranger than Catholicism, only the last time I looked Tom Cruise was not a pederast. I am sure they have their share of members who are no angels like any other group. It is no stranger than the Quakers. Science fiction is not too far removed from Middle Eastern Tribal Fiction. I realize that it makes for an exciting news story to attack someone else's religion. I'm not signing up for a ticket on their space ship, just saying it is deplorable to fuck with people over what they choose to believe.

Norm!

When I want a real Club Sandwich, I come here and order one with extra bacon and some avocado. Thousand Island Dressing on the side. I ordered a Club at Cora's Cafe in the beginning of the summer, and I was a little disappointed. Not because their $16.00 club sandwich was bad or anything, but it had the addition of goat cheese and was served on an Italian Roll and had no resemblance to any club I ever saw. As you know, an authentic club sandwich has three slices of toasted white bread spread with a little mayo, turkey, bacon, tomato, and lettuce. The sandwich is secured with four toothpicks, and cut into 4 triangles. I also ate a club-like sandwich in May at Mendocino Farms which I also enjoyed, but it too was lacking a third slice of bread, was not cut into triangles, and was not authentic either. Norms has the authentic Club Sandwich down pretty well. Real sliced turkey breast roasted in the kitchen, not that shitty turkey roll made from a slurry of chopped up turkey beaks, gizzards, and assholes. The avocado is perfect. They don't monkey around. Finally, the service in this proletarian coffee shop is exceptional! The servers, hostesses and cashiers at this particular location all make you feel comfortable in surroundings that have not changed for decades. My review is exclusively for the Club Sandwich. A lot of reviews about this place mention that weirdos hang out here. It takes one to know one.

Democrats?

I was in Santa Monica yesterday, and I saw the DPLA table and was asked by the nice lady sitting down what I thought about Obamacare. I am all for government subsidized medical care. Obamacare is way too watered down for me. If the personal property of the richest 10% is confiscated and the military budget is gutted like a tuna, then there will be plenty of money for medical care. But Obama care is a poseur program plain and simple. At the outset, my political affiliation is to the left of the left. That is why I cannot remain silent when my party has presided over the largest expansion of domestic spying in the history of the nation. And when confronted with PRISM, and the annihilation of the 4th Amendment, our president lies and makes a feeble attempt to justify spying on us without a warrant and recording our keystrokes and tries to convince us that we are safer as a nation because of it. All that talk about transparency was just a big crock of shit. In addition to being opposed to having the government spy on me, I have also found the extrajudicial murders that the president is ordering in Yemen and Pakistan to be in opposition to my Democratic values. I think that violating international law is not something that the Democrats should be supporting. Drone strikes are war crimes. I was born in the morning. But not this morning. Bradley Manning was convicted in a show trial by a kangaroo court. It is shameful that this happened during this administration. I thought that we voted for Obama to prevent a miscarriage of justice like this from happening. The Snowden affair seems like the perfect opportunity to do away with this bullshit spying, but old wolf in sheep's clothing Obama is acting just like Dick Cheney would if he were given the opportunity. Also, it appears to me that the Obama Administration seems to be making an even bigger mess of the Middle East. We should not be getting involved in other people's struggles. I don't support selling or giving arms to anyone, especially in such a volatile region. Each time someone dies as the result of an American weapon, it creates generations of bad faith and sets the stage for acts of terror directed at our interests. I voted for Obama to avoid this but I feel like he sold me down the river. Whenever I mention these things to fellow Democrats, the best answer they can come up with is that the Democrats are better than the Republicans. They ARE the Republicans. Meanwhile, the war in Afghanistan rages on and we are still the largest arms dealer in the world. Hope my hairy beanbag. I am changing my affiliation to decline to state.

My Oldest Bro

I was driving my car Southbound on Alvarado approaching Temple Street at a speed of approximately 25mph when an elderly man suddenly stepped off the curb and in front of my vehicle. Fortunately, when I hit him, I had slowed down considerably, so the impact, while it knocked him to the ground, was minimal. I immediately stopped the car, and came to his assistance. We walked over to the bus bench in front of the McDonald's, and I offered to call him an ambulance and attempted to give the guy my insurance information. He assured me that he was all right and refused my offers of help and told me that he did not wish to see my license and insurance information. I went on my way, and thought the matter was closed until I got a letter in the mail from the LAPD indicating that my vehicle had been involved in a hit and run, and that some detective wanted me to call them up to schedule an interview. I am old enough to know that you never volunteer any information to the police under any circumstances and that in these cases, they are not there to help you or let you explain things, they are attempting to set up a criminal case against you and you should not say anything to them at all except that you want to speak to your attorney. I called Floyd, who incidentally happens to be my oldest brother, and gave him a copy of the letter. He said that they were just on a fishing expedition, because if they had anything at all, I would have already been arrested. He told me not to be worried at all. He immediately called the detective and indicated to him that there was not going to be any interview. A couple of weeks later, the LAPD asked to photograph the vehicle, so Floyd took it over to Rampart Detectives and they took some pictures of my vehicle. The guy that I hit positively identified my car as the vehicle that knocked him on his carless, stupid ass. The next move of the LAPD was to take my DMV picture and place it in a 6 pack photo line up to see if the guy could identify me. Floyd told me that cross cultural identification was pretty tricky. The guy I hit was from a different race, and it was highly unlikely that he could identify me, he said. He looked at the lineup, and lo and behold, he did not know me from Adam. This is where the matter ended. Do you hear that sound of that Klaxon Horn, detectives? In addition to representing me in the hit and run, Floyd has successfully helped me beat two other bullshit felony vandalism cases. I never expected when we were kids that he would grow up to be the brilliant lawyer that he is today. He has an understanding of the criminal justice system in Los Angeles second to none.