Little Sis

Located directly across the street from the most sinister fucking clown you will ever see in your life lies this little gem of an Armenian bakery. The lahmajune here tastes like it was made by the hands of god. I got some of these and ate the first one literally seconds after it came from the massive oven. The dough is so wonderfully light and perfectly cooked, it could bring a tear to your eye. It reminded me of my grandmother's homemade flour tortillas crossed with the dough at Pizza Mozza. The meat and tomato mixture spread on top is well seasoned and has a pretty nice garlic kick to it without being overpowering. My original plan was to take them home but I ended up eating three of them in the car in the parking lot and another on the freeway. They are only 90 cents each. I could just picture getting high and eating thirty or fifty of these treats. We got some other stuff, and I had the chance to briefly talk to the kind and helpful lady behind the counter. She showed me the egg and cheese concoction baked to order on top of some delicious looking dough. Although I don't get over the hill to often, it is places like this that make Greater Los Angeles great.

Mac Arthur Park - Home of the Giant $20.00 Rock

Yesterday, I ordered the legendary #19 at Langer's and opted to walk back to Koreatown instead of using public transportation. I headed up Alvarado, and then West on Wilshire. Over the course of my walk, I was overwhelmed with a sudden deluge of memories from my childhood. As I looked at the dilapidated roof of what used to be the boathouse, I remembered fondly how in the early 1970's my dad used to take me and my brothers here to rent paddle boats. I remembered the other business like Edwards Steakhouse, and the Westlake Theater before it was converted into a filthy and depressing indoor swapmeet. I vividly remember when the American Cement Building was occupied with a public relations firm instead of assorted loft owners that are too terrified to even take their dogs outside to shit and will not even walk over to the subway. Well, by that time, the area was already in a state of decline, but not even close to what was going to happen in the 80's. At one time, this had been a pretty highbrow area. The Park Plaza Hotel, The Bryson, Otis Parsons, and the former Sheraton Town House testify to the area's former glory. But it kind of reminds me today of Chernobyl.

Our family boat rides preceded rock cocaine, false documents, and U.S. military interventions in Guatemala, El Salvador, and Nicaragua. But when I walked by yesterday, I realized that the foundation of the park is still there. The palm trees still thrive and the lake could easily be restored to its former glory. It is a tragedy that children no longer can enjoy those magical paddle boats that once graced the lake. The area clearly offers one of the very best views of the Downtown Skyline and with a Metro Station and the largest concentration of apartments in any area west of the Mississippi. Massive public investment is sorely needed immediately here for urban renewal. The area has been ignored far too long.

Why the City of Los Angeles surrendered this park to the chickenshit criminals that occupy it today is incomprehensible to me. If I were the City Attorney, I would take my fat incompetent ass and focus on cleaning up this area instead of feebly attempting to seek higher office and jousting with medical marijuana dispensaries.

Best Meal For Under 10 Dollars in Koreatown!!!

Pollos A La Brasa 764 S Western Ave Los Angeles, CA 90005 (213) 387-1531 I visit this wonderful restaurant perhaps more than any other place in town. It is my fondest wish and desire that they don't screw things up when they move into the new digs later on this year. The owner, his son, daughter, wife, and the people helping them out are so welcoming and kind to me every time I go in here and I am totally grateful. Forget being in show business, this is the type of recognition that I want in life. Forget admission to any country club, this is the type of club I want to belong to! My usual order is the 1/2 chicken with fries and salad (my favorite cheap meal in the City). The total cost is just under 10 bucks and the quality is nearly identical to what you are going to get at a typical chicken place around Lima. The salad has Wishbone Italian dressing, beets, cucumbers, bell peppers, cabbage and lettuce. Order it on a extra plate. The skin on this chicken is so good it is going to make your toes curl! A piece of this chicken, a couple of fries wrapped in a piece of skin and topped with aji is one of the best combinations of food fathomable. Last week, I came here after 3 days of brutal exercise and ordered 3 anticuchos medium rare, and while I enjoyed them, I think next time I want them cooked a little more. Heart is a lean and nutritious meat, and while I enjoy these more with llama and lamb, the cow ones here were tasty along with the boiled potato and plenty of aji squeezed on top. Peru was an awesome country to visit. I am to this day blown away by the fact that I spent three months there and did not eat one bad meal on my entire trip. The most magnificent ceviches, potatoes and roasted chickens I have so far encountered-just like the ones here.

Mint Carpet Cleaning better than Z-Best

(323) 465-0293 Mint Carpet Care Category: Carpet Cleaning Neighborhood: Hollywood Your carpet will be cleaned to your complete satisfaction. You will not be given a line of bullshit telling you that you need spot removal. You will use these people again the next time you defile your carpet with bong water. You will recommend Mandy and Erin to your friends and family.

Those Almejas Who Own the Border Grill Piss Me Off

Hire some kitchen workers from Mexico, carefully watch what they cook for the "crew stew", appropriate the recipe and pretend that you are innovative, call it something colorful, put it on your menu, charge rockstar prices, throw in a margarita or two and, voila, you have the Border Grill. And those two cunts that own this place piss me off. I cannot understand why they are treated like royalty.

Fuck This Steakhouse

I wish that many people in my life were equipped with a switch located on the back of their heads where I could shut them down or power them back up at my leisure. I would for sure flip the off switch on anyone who tried to get me to come back to Mastro's Steakhouse. After dinner here last night, I concluded that I am sick of this overpriced and under flavored high end steakhouse horseshit and Mastro's is the last pile of dung that I care to step in. Finished, I tell you. I got a nice bone in filet, which was well aged and cooked a proper medium rare all served on a sizzling platter. Also, some very decent brussel sprouts, sauteed spinach, scalloped potatoes, and a chopped salad. And some oysters Rockerfeller to start out. But I could have bailed out of jail for less money. More than 50 bucks for a steak like this was more like aggravated sodomy than it was highway robbery. The vegetables were good, but very very salty. I felt this meal had so much salt in it that I was being cured like a country ham from the inside. The potatoes as well. I did not know that cheese was the star topping on oysters Rockerfeller. I thought it was supposed to be Hollandaise sauce. The chopped salad was tasty and served in a cold bowl, but it was really a Greek Salad and should be labeled as such. But I want to point out the highlights of this meal. The pretzel bread, and all the breads for that matter were out of this world good. I mean fantastic. The chopped salad was worth every cent of the 12 bucks that it cost. Also, I felt that the busboys and runners were very friendly, kind and professional. Our server was too, but the busboy and the runners attitudes were really impressive. When I was eating my filet, I kept thinking "COLD ROAST BEEF" as in a Stephen King short story. This hunk of beef was just a waste of a great steak. I kept wondering how this thing would have tasted if I had ordered the same cut at Park's BBQ or Solwoon Galbi. I am sure that the Koreans would have converted the filet into something well seasoned, tasty, satisfying and worthy. Grilled over charcoal, of course. American steakhouses need to take their un-imaginative preparations of beef served in mammoth portions and ram it up their snouts. This steak was so anti climactic that I almost felt like I needed to jerk off when I got home.

Intense Anger Towards Diners, Drive In's, and Dives; Nostalgia for Unshaven Bush, and Fab's Hot Dogs

During the late 1970's and early 1980's, I remember the fitness revolution that seemed to be in full force and effect in the Greater Los Angeles Area. I remember the joggers, all those women with unshaved bushes wearing leg warmers in front of Jane Fonda's Workout Studio on Robertson, and even the Exercising Barbie that my sister played with. Okay, I played with it too. I admit it. People were taking quaaludes, going to juice bars, and appeared to be in much better overall shape than they are today. I wish we had that fitness craze going on today and I also wish they would bring back the unshaved bush. A couple of quaaludes wouldn't be too bad either. In this era, I could not have even imagined that a show like Diners Drive Ins and Diabetes would ever be on TV beckoning America to an early grave from diseases of affluence.

I had read about this place on Yelp, but rarely venture deep into the Valley. When I came in, I saw that Guy had been there. I do not like him, Sam I Am. Guy is the worst thing to happen to the entertainment industry since Robin Williams began his career in Hollywood, or perhaps even worse than a snuff film. That is very irresponsible of Guy and the Food Network to show America that it is okay to let your health go to shit.

But when in Rome. I ordered two hot dogs. The Fab Dog with bacon onions and red relish, and then the Cheese Coney, then I went back and got some more. Thirty dollars worth of hot dogs and tater tots later, I guess you gotta stuff an apple in my mouth too. I also got, the Carolina Slaw and then the Hot Polish with fresh Garlic and Jalepenos. My daughter got a veggie dog, and then proceeded to have a Spicy Polish and a Bratwurst. I was a very hungry caterpillar. We are all Guy sometimes.