You Like Tasty Garden?

The food at this Taiwanese coffee shop is hit or miss. The waffle is fantastic, the iced tea in the boot shaped glass kicks ass with its free refills. My lychee drink was exotic, cold and delicious.

The food that we ordered was about 50%. The shrimp fried rice was a nice snack, competently prepared, but not gourmet. However, the Mapo Tofu was just a fucking abomination which had the taste and texture of a runny egg white mixed with soy sauce. I got some vegetables with nice greens and sauteed mushrooms. This was simple and the best thing we ordered besides the waffle.

The interior of this place is what it must look like when Prince throws up. What must of been going through the designer's head is anyone's guess. Although I am determined to try all of the places in this shopping center, I must say that Happy Family rules the roost so far. Go there instead.

Pure Life Alternative Bullshit Dispensary on La Cienega

If you like overpriced buds, then as Brigham Young once said several hundred miles northeast of here: "This is the Place". I was aghast at seeing an eighth of Private Reserve(read Bullshit Reserve) selling for 80 bucks. I do not like the vibe of this place or most of the people working here, though there are a couple of exceptions. Seems like the clerk is on roids. The cool guy I think is named Carlos. Also I got an edible here that was very strong, tasted like rasberry jam, but on the downside was 12 bucks. Most of the other bud selections are 50 bucks for an eighth not a place where they will bargain with you at all in fact will react with pedantic hostility when asked to do so. With several hundred places located in 10 mile radius from this place selling medical marijuana for around half the price, it was very easy to vote with my feet and walk away from this place.

London on Virgin Atlantic: Benny Hill and those Retarded Royals

I decided to visit England a little while ago. I had always been a great admirer of Benny Hill, the most influential Brit of the 20th Century, and I got a good deal on my ticket. The English people seemed pretty friendly. It is too bad that their government consents to being our pet poodle. When I got to London, I dedided to take a little trip over to Brixton. It seemed remarkably similar to one of our own marginalized areas, but I felt safer walking around because fewer people and their mothers carry firearms. I decided to buy some weed, but did not have any references. I asked a friendly bloke, and he told me to head up this street until I reached a pub named "The Plug", at which point I was to make a right and continue walking until I reached the Green Leaf Cafe. He told me to go in and order a Coke from the black geezer inside, and they would know what I came in for. I followed the directions, and arrived at the cafe and ordered the beverage like the guy told me. The guy opened a kettle on the counter, and showed me the merchandise. It was a little steep for 20 fucking quid, but when in Rome.

I got to visit the British Museum, and wound up taking three days there alone. The other museums that I visited, such as the National Portrait Gallery and the Tate Modern were awesome as well. I also visited the Tower of London, and Buckingham Palace. That Royal Family is ugly as fuck. If I had all that princely money, I would buy a new face and new hair color. I have no idea what the obsession with these inbred fucks is all about, but it was interesting to see the palace and crown jewels. The problem with Monarchy is that even the good kings are bad. I would like to see all their heads on pikes. Pikes Peak of course.

I thought the cost of food in London was highway robbery. The best deal that you are going to find on food is at the Kensington Farmer's Market. You can get a big sandwich for 2 pounds. Shawerma in Notting Hill is awesome too.

As to Virgin Atlantic, all I can say is that I took a smorgasborg of pills before I got on the plane, when I woke up mid-flight, and the balance when I arrived at Heathrow. I have no idea what transpired while we were flying across the pond. But it must have been okay, becuase they were not waiting for me with handcuffs at the terminal.

Looking for a Place to get your hair cut in Koreatown? Try Jerrys but plan to spend 20 Bucks

For a few years, my hair was falling out and I thought that I was going to be balder than Axl Rose in no time flat before I turned 50. Then after I started exercising vigorously on a daily basis, it miraculously started growing back. Praise the lard! It stopped falling out and started growing back. Even in the front. Amazing! My doctor, who reminds me somewhat of Dr. Nick on the Simpsons tells me it is because of the increased circulation which is what he says minoxidil does to your scalp, too. If you plan to get a hair transplant, don't waste your money. They look like doll plugs anyway. Who the fuck do you think you are fooling? Everybody knows. That is why they are staring at your hairline. Run, swim, and lift weights instead. You may get lucky like I did.

I have walked past this place a hundred times, and am glad I finally stopped. At the outset, this is not one of those barbershops where some douche with long hair and mutton chops offers you a shot of whiskey before he whips out a straight razor and cuts your hair for a hundred bucks so you can be hip. He has been in the area since 1980 which by today's standards might as well be 1890. There are over a dozen places to get your hair cut in a 1/4 mile radius of Jerry, but he is by far the best of them that I have been to. If you are a cheap skate like me, this is going to cost you more than double what your normal cheap ass clipper cut costs. It is worth the price for talking to him alone, and I was really happy with the haircut.

Bryan Kest is the Best

I recently came here again with my daughter for a class on Tuesday morning. I have gone into a lot of yoga places around town and have really wished that I had half an Oki Dog to put underneath the heater so that the people can sense my lack of approval for their phoniness. They may say namaste, but when you see how they treat the cleaning lady or fight you for a parking space over at Urth Cafe, it is enough to induce projectile vomiting.

The people at Bryan Kest power yoga are for real. This is a seriously challenging, hardcore workout taught by people who are serene and willing to share true yoga with you. I am no expert on yogic philosophy and karma, but I don't think that studios that engage in litigation and attempt to assert ownership, dominion and control over yoga poses represent true yoga. In my lifetime, I have seen Santa Monica transform from a very compassionate and liberal place into one of the world's most gleaming examples of insidious capitalism. By requesting a donation after class, Bryan Kest Power Yoga may just be the only remnant of that great era in a sea of soulless places like the Border Grill and Design Within Reach.

Damon's Glendale- Time for a Drunkening

Damon's opened in the same year that my dad was born, back when Glendale was the home of the American Nazi Party and when Armenia was a part of the Soviet Union. The interior is decorated with lots of Hawaiian crap and some of the best light fixtures I have ever seen in my life. If I had one of Damon's Tiki light fixtures and a real Tiffany lamp, I would probably hang the Damon's fixture in my living room, and the Tiffany lamp over my toilet. There are quite a few saltwater aquariums here with fish that your kids can pester while they smear their germ and food filled hands on the glass.

The Damon's Mai Tai is the tropical drink by which all other tropical drinks are measured. If you are an alcoholic, you are going to love this place. Even the ice is better here than at any other bar I have been to. It makes the drink taste like an alcoholic tropical snow cone. I have never ordered anything but the Mai Tai here to drink. If you want to get shit in your shoes drunk, have about four of these. I would never order a Chi Chi.

The steaks here are not prime, dry aged, nor particularly of the highest quality, but tasty nonetheless. It is an honest steak, and they will cook it more or less like you asked for it. I like rare filet, the hamburger steak and the gravy which tastes like it was made from a powder in a foil envelope. The salad is cold, crisp, has beets, and is pretty good. Ask them to bring you one with the regular house dressing and another with ranch dressing. They give you a half a baked potato stuffed with mashed potatoes which can be hit or miss. The fried shrimp is crispy, hot, competent and a better choice than the broiled shrimp. You should upgrade to garlic bread.

This place is a throwback to the day when a salad tossed table side did not have a filthy meaning, and a three drink lunch was not "good cause for dismissal" from your job. It is not exactly cheap to eat and drink here, but by no means outrageous. I would much rather come here than most steakhouses and that is for damn sure.

Promethazine with Codeine and Fogo De Chao Brazillian Restaurant

Imagine sitting in front of a 50 gallon drum of Promethazine with Codeine Cough Syrup. Pretty soon, you are going to say to yourself, "This stuff is not bad for you if you take it in moderation. Why they say that it might even be good for you! It will do me no harm if I take a little bit...." Well, you know what is going to happen.

Here at Fogo De Chao, the same thing is going to happen but with beef. In my defense, someone gave me a gift certificate.