Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Durkheim, Anomie, and the Non-chemical Control of Emotions

I was profoundly affected by the writings of Emile Durkheim from the moment I read the first sentence.  He was on to something big.  Hearing about him was the highlight of a Sociology class in community college that I took way back in 1986.  The lesson of anomie lingered.  Durkheim was what came to mind every day as I sat behind a desk producing nothing.  Nothing tangible unless misery is tangible.

Each day I entered the giant honeycomb of an office building that I had called home for so many years and made my way up to the 10th floor so that I could buy a refrigerator on credit and finance a car at the end of the day.  Perhaps take out a second mortgage to accumulate more possessions.  Not really, see, I was never stupid enough to play that game, but I dedicated a great number of years of my career to jobs that produce nothing tangible.  Crowded office space on every side.  Up and down.  The modern equivalent of the factory except we are not producing anything except misery and nonsense.  Somewhere in the process, goods or services are alleged involved, but these physical meetings take place far beyond the re-enforced concrete and glass towers which are the office buildings in which I once participated in this nonsense.  Crowded freeways, crowded living quarters.  If Durkheim were alive today, he would flip his wig.  Surely the factories of today are worse on so many levels than those of his age.

It took me a little while, but I walked away from that torture chamber of an office and started making a living with my hands again.  Determined that it is futile and stupid to play the game.  Are you going to write another mumbo jumbo memo?  If your job is useless, make it disappear.  And your worries will soon follow.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Friday, May 2, 2014

I Fucking Hate Orange County

Orange County  - Puras Mamadas

At the outset, I lived in San Clemente before, so I am entitled to write a review.  More CII, III and IV narcotics, stimulants, and tranquilizers are prescribed per capita in Orange County than in any of the other 57 Counties in the Golden State.  It has become so commonplace for adults, teenagers, young adults, and even elementary school children in San Clemente, San Juan Capistrano, and Irvine to choke on their own vomit due to acute polydrug intoxication that it has surpassed the epidemic stage and has become a pandemic.  The supply of Mexican Black Tar Heroin in Huntington Beach is as abundant as the Double Double at the ubiquitous In N Out Burger hamburger chain that exists in every city in the County from Buena Park to Guadalahabra.  In fact, the illicit drug supply utilizes the same transportation corridors as the burger joint.

The coastline from Newport to San Onofre is arguably the finest stretch of oceanfront real estate in the entire world, and if not the finest, it certainly ranks among the top ten.  Laguna can only be described as jaw dropping from Corona del Mar all the way down to Dana Point.  Upper Newport Bay is one of the most fantastic estuaries in the world.  It is a rookery for  many different species of birds.  It is a breeding ground for fish, anaerobic bacteria, invertebrate, and crustaceans.  There is a lot of cool flora and fauna contained therein.  Except every 15 minutes a fucking jet takes off at and insanely steep angle from John Wayne Airport polluting the back bay with jet noise and fumes which are not healthy for humans, animals and other living organisms.  Big Duke Wayne killed our Indian brothers, he burned their villages and raped their mothers. They should never have named an airport after him.  An acquaintance of mine who is a commercial pilot told me that when you do a steep take off and stop the throttle after it gets to a certain altitude so that the engine noise does not disturb the wealthily residents below in Newport Beach and Corona Del Mar, it makes the plane more susceptible to mechanical failure.

The intertidal at Laguna and most of the South County Beaches with kelp forests are world class diving spots with underwater scenery you will not likely forget unless you go into a deep coma or a vegetative state.  Garabaldi, white and black sea bass, urchins, calico, and the other usual cast of underwater characters abound.

Brea Canyon, Trabuco Canyon, O'Neil and Casper Regional Parks, and the South County Beach Campgrounds are without exception all 5 Star.

If I could demolish every man-made structure in the County including the Bear Country Jamboree and Tomorrowland, the Crystal Cathedral, insidious Mc Mansions made of ticky-tacky, toll roads, free roads, interstates, freeways, airports, and absolutely everything with commercial value then sign me the fuck up.  I am also in favor shoving an entire Mrs. Knott's Fried Chicken Dinner up a lot of Christian's assholes. Please Let me know where Walt Disney is buried so I can go piss on his grave.  He created generations of money grubbing twats with unrealistic and foul princess aspirations.

I never felt welcome here and OC makes me feel schizophrenic.  If there were no legal consequences, I would not stop until there was nothing left there but rodents, reptiles, birds, fish, deer, coyotes, bobcats and mountain lions.  If I had a time machine, I would have done some great acts of sabotage and prevented the cowardly and brutal murder of poor defenseless Kelly Thomas by dispatching the Cyclops and fat Mexican asshole responsible for that heinous criminal act.  While I am not threatening the jurors that acquitted those cops, I hope all those fuckers die of HIV/AIDS.  If there were no people and Orange County was a giant State Park, I would have a considerably more positive opinion of the place and would offer it the highest rating possible.

Caballero Canyon

Caballero Canyon Trail  

Category: Hiking
Neighborhood: Tarzana
Caballero Canyon trailhead is located 3 miles south of the 101 on Reseda Blvd.  There is ample parking at the trailhead which is surrounded by a gaggle of insidious stucco and drywall mini-mansions that should have never been built.  In fact, next time the canyon goes up in flames, invite me over so I can toast some marshmallows.  Anyway, the trail I took goes off to the left as you walk down the embankment.  It is not too steep, but I was surprised to find quite a bit of shade which must come in handy in August when Tarzana feels like beautiful Downtown Brawley.  The trail is rather short, just a little over 1.5 mi, but there are options to extend the length once you reach the top with just a little caveat which I will soon explain.  I saw some Scrub Jays, Ravens, and Robins.  Lizards out warming themselves on the rocks.  Sycamores in the canyon down below.  Oaks, but not ancient ones.  Some nice giant boulders.  When you get to the top, lo and behold: giant earth moving machines carving up yet another subdivision in the beautiful and sacred Santa Monica Mountains.  The roar of a behemoth bulldozer tearing up the hillside and that abomination of a backhoe digging trenches to accommodate conduits of shit and electricity for more Mc Mansions.  I sure wish it were not a felony to vandalize heavy construction equipment or I would put some Karo GMO Cornsyrup into the fucking gas tanks and dirt into the crankcase.  Perhaps even drain out the oil and puncture the hoses.  A nice view of the San Fernando Valley and a great view of Topanga State Park looking south.  I hope all of the co-conspirators who issued building permits, the architects and contractors that designed and constructed these abominations, and the people who occupy the houses know that they are going to the deepest ring of Dante's Inferno for destroying this once beautiful section of the Santa Monica Mountains.

I recommend listening to Judas Priest Screaming For Vengeance while running on the way down.  Full fucking blast!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Denise and da Nephews

My cousin's three children are a remarkable bunch!  I am well aware of how supremely annoying it is when parents brag about their children.  I frequently observe gargoyle ugly children being told by their lying shit sack parents that they are just beautiful when the exact opposite is true.  The overwhelming majority of relatives that praise their fugly nieces, nephews, grandchildren, and then proclaim  how talented they supposedly are make me want to blow chunks.  But my little cousins are an exception.  They are darling children.  Carlos, the oldest, is such a great looking kid and in possession of a very high IQ.  He truly has the best genes of both his parents. The middle child is darling too, and quite determined on the trail, a little reserved at first, but empathetic and kind.  The 18 month old girl has one of the best personalities of any small child I have ever met.  If you met them, you would see for yourself.  Forgive my bragging, but I can't help myself because they are so special.

The children are suffering psychological distress because my cousin and her estranged husband are currently embroiled in an exceedingly high conflict divorce and custody matter over at the Stanley Mosk Courthouse.  While the case is super ugly and both parties exceedingly unyielding, it is not something that I care to become involved in as a witness or a participant in any other way, shape, or form.  I do want to offer my time to helping these kids as much as I can.  They are well loved.  While obviously I would like my cousin to win because she is family, I am old enough to know that there are no winners in a family law matter.  Also, it takes two to tango.  Whoever your relative is in a divorce matter, remember that they married that other person.  When parties divorce, they are batshit crazy.  It is wise to limit your involvement as much as possible while still being supportive.  You do it by focusing on the kids and taking their mind off the domestic problems by allowing them to be kids.  When they start talking about the divorce or asking questions, simply start talking about something else.  Then get them to the park or another place where they can enjoy themselves without being reminded of alienation and litigation.

There are only losers in domestic cases, and those losers are almost without exception, the minor child of the parties.  There is nothing more emotionally traumatic than a divorce to a small child with the possible exception of the death of an immediate family member or a tragic and disfiguring accident.  The people in most divorce cases that I am rooting for are the minor children, but that is not the objective of the Family Law and Juvenile Dependency Court Judges and the community of matrimonial lawyers and their support staff who understand that the process has immense commercial value and directly employs thousands of individuals in Los Angeles County injecting hundreds of millions of dollars into State and Local economies.

Family law attorneys in Los Angeles are primarily a worthless lot as are employees of the DCFS.  If I solved problems utilizing violent means, I would probably use hand tools to dismember and grind them up into Soylent Green.  Tuesday is Soylent Green Day.  Most of the judges on the Family Law Panel at Mosk could probably be replaced by a simple computer application that would apply the California Family Code with both precision and total judicial blindness.  They should be sent to the wastebasket of history and judicial panels should only be used in the most abstract of cases.  Litigants should be considered applicants instead, and joint legal and physical custody to the parties should be automatic and as easy as filling out a Marriage License with the County Registrar and Recorder and always processed on the same day while you wait.  It should be obtainable by either party for good cause, bad cause, or no cause at all.  Completely no fault and processed with the utmost efficiency and speed.  Just think of all the money that could be saved!  Vigorously prosecute all Family Court litigants that make false accusations, especially false allegations of sexual abuse in criminal court.  Domestic cases are the only matters where perjury is not taken seriously despite the immense damage that generally takes place as a result of  parents making false accusations about their estranged spouses during custody and support battles.  I propose that making false accusations of sexual abuse during a divorce or paternity proceeding should be codified as a felony, and that the District Attorney vigorously investigate and file cases against the perpetrators of chickenshit rumormongering.  The overwhelming majority of litigants that bear false witness against their former spouse are female, but of course men occasionally act like cunts and snitch like weaselly bitches.

Having been personally involved in multiple family cases since June 5th, 1999, I can tell you without reservation that it is a not a good thing to be involved in.  By associating with turds, you are inevitably going to wind up with fecal matter on your hands.  As I had mentioned, dealing with most family law attorneys in Los Angeles will require you to wash your hands frequently with hot water and AJAX.  Scrub your hands under the hot water for at least 40 seconds and clip your fingernails.  It is especially important not to become emotionally involved in the case of a family member.  It is prudent to offer support to your relative but avoid becoming a witness or reading court material and documents.

What you should do is try and spend as much time as possible with the minor children and provide them with the ability to act like kids as the life they once knew sadly unravels.  There are many activities that will take their little minds off the tension in the households of both separated parents.  Of course the children will want to please their parents, and will bring them up frequently.  As an uncle or aunt, grandparent, cousin, or older sibling, you need to let the kids know how important both parents are.  There is no excuse for you to talk any shit about a little kid's parents and the damage that will occur to their self esteem will take years of psychotherapy later in life to unravel.  Instead of talking shit and acting like a turd, praise the dad and praise the mom.  Talk about some of the good things about both parents and tell the kids that they are loved and that everything always works out in the end and that it just takes a little time to heal.

I knew of a case where an upper-middle class woman from Manhattan Beach made false accusations of sexual abuse against her ex-husband.  The allegations were creepier than the McMartin Pre School horseshit that they accused the Buckeys of 30 years ago.  She almost succeeded in getting him arrested and prosecuted, but fortunately the judge smelled shit and put a stop to the fiasco by awarding custody to the father.  Thank God!  There was nothing wrong with dad other than the fact that mom hated him and wanted to damage him.  She tried to enlist all her friends and relatives to go against him, but I never jumped on that bandwagon.  Her entire family did jump on that bandwagon and badmouthed the dad, threatened him with violence, and literally tried to assassinate his character.  It did not work, but there are many cases where it does.  These people who participate in this sickening behavior should never be around children in the first place and the poor damn kids should probably go into foster care where they might just have a fucking fighting chance at living a normal life.

I suggest that if someone asks you to take sides in a custody battle, just take the side of the minor children instead and remember when you were a small child that it would have been devastating if some dumb ass relative said something bad about your mom or dad.  My cousin's kids adore their father, and so I always make it a point to tell them their dad is an awesome athlete and that he should lift weights, strength train, and get involved in Martial Arts like his dad.  I tell him his dad is a man and that a big part about growing into a person is physical fitness.  They need to be able to look up to dad who is obviously going to teach him that important stuff.  Mom seems to be a little more gifted in the intelligence arena.  All three kids are clearly in possession of those smarts, so I try and bring that up frequently as well.  I tell them how hard it is to be intelligent and how I used to try and hide it from the other kids.   Make them feel good about it instead of being worthless and talking shit.  I think this goes a long way to building self esteem and confidence.

Anyhow, I take care of my two special guys and my angelic little girl every Saturday, all day.  This Saturday, I took them on a moderate 4 mile trail run.  I carried the little girl, but the boys went un-assisted all the way up a steep trail with about 1200 ft elevation gain.  They followed my instructions to the letter, and booked up the hill.  The older boy is 6, and in addition to being remarkably intelligent, seems to have inherited his father's natural athletic ability.  He was able to keep up and clearly has the ability to go much farther and could easily learn how to boulder and do a hard scramble.   I am hoping to take him to Baldy next time we spend some time together so he can bag his first 10k Peak.  The 4 year old boy did well also, and the little girl seems to be a thrill seeker.  I gave them constant reassurance and let them talk.  Getting to the summit was great for their self esteem.  They did it all themselves and I was really proud of them!  I pointed out the Hawks, Ravens, Reptiles, Rodents, Sycamores, Oaks, Crows, Robins, and the magnificent views from high on top of the Santa Monica Mountains.  I know they are all hooked on trail running, cause when we ran down, the boys booked down the hill non-stop for two miles.  A long way when you are a little kid.

When I took them home, they were all out like a light.  The little guys are just wonderful kids and I am looking forward to teaching them all about fishing, rifle skills, backpacking, swimming, trail running, integrity, and a general love of the outdoors.  I hope to provide them with a sanctuary where they can feel secure, protected, loved, and the ability to act like kids and run free without a care in the world.  I am especially stoked to take them running on the trails of the Santa Monicas, San Gabriels, and the San Bernardino National Forest.  It takes a mountain to build a man (and a woman, too, of course).

When I spend time with these wonderful little people, I see the best qualities of both parents and the potential for individual greatness for all three of them.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Kia Sedona: About the Shittiest Vehicle I Have Ever Driven

This review is based on the 2012 Kia Sedona minivan that I have been driving for the last month for work.  I have never driven another Kia product, and am not likely to ever drive one again if I can possibly avoid it.   This vehicle is an absolutely worthless, reprehensible, rolling hunk of shit.  I can't believe that it went into production.  

Firstly, I feel like a pedophile driving this thing around.  Even my daughter told me that when I drive it I look totally like a sex offender.  Then, expect about 11 miles per gallon.  Not bad for a 1974 Buick Electra, but for a modern vehicle without a V-8, it is merely comical.  Who the fuck designed this thing?  It runs and drives like some team of jackass engineers from Pyongyang reverse engineered a Toyota Previa.  It could quite possibly be the same team that reverse engineered a second generation SCUD into the Nodong Ballistic Missile.  It handles worse than a Yugo with two flat tires.  Once again, this thing is not just bad, but horrid.  Nothing is where it should be.  When you try and adjust the radio, it is inevitably going to cause a hazard.  The controls are placed so randomly it defies one's imagination.  On a real car made by real engineers like the Mazda Miata, all the controls are where they are supposed to be.  These guys should have taken some lessons in functionality from the much more serious and efficient Japanese who make real cars.  Not some tincan minivan made by North Koreans and one armed men like this thing.   Then there are the blind spots which make this thing truly unsafe.  It would make a good van to transport clowns to and fro the circus.  The Koreans seem to do a lot of things correctly, but they should really stay out of the automobile business.