Judge Arnold is a Crypto Nazi

This place is also known as the Torn-Ass courthouse. Let me explain. If you are picked up for a crime in Inglewood, Hawthorne, or Lennox, statistically, you are either Latino, Black or maybe even Blacktino. Your preliminary hearing may be in Inglewood, but your jury trial is going to take place here. Most criminal defendants going to trial here are going to be faced with a little problem. The jury pool at the Torrance Courthouse is composed primarily of Caucasian registered voters from Rancho Palos Verdes, Manhattan Beach, Redondo Beach and selected other affluent areas in the South Bay where almost no Latinos and Blacks make their home. A jury of their peers? More like a jury of douchenozzles. You know you don't want people from Manhattan Beach and Palos Verdes on your jury unless you want to hear the words ready, aim and fire.

Additionally, many of the judges that have been assigned to the criminal panel are former law enforcement, like Mark Arnold. These porcine judges are quite sympathetic and helpful to the young, invertebrate, unethical DDA's that carry out their orders at this courthouse. So helpful that it may even constitute judicial misconduct. Some of them are clearly crypto-Nazis. While I have never seen any of the DDA's that work here with sheets on their heads, it may just be due to the fact that I don't hang out with shitty people.

Ice House Canyon and the Chapman Trail

Beginning at Ice House Canyon, I took the Chapman Trail this time which was entirely new to me. You have to walk for approximately a mile, and then you will see it on the left hand side marked by a sign. I found it to be almost empty, in contrast to the dozens, if not hundreds of people on the Ice House Canyon Trail to the South. The Chapman Trail offers some beautiful scenery as you traverse moderate switchbacks through chaparral, oak, cedar groves, unspoiled meadows, towering yucca with giant white flowers across a background of blue sky. Eventually winding up at Ice House Saddle, I can hardly wait to go back here. In fact, I think I will tell them I am sick later this afternoon so I can get out of the office and back on that trail. Healthy rodent population, trees look green and healthy for the most part, plenty of birds but I didn't see any raptors at all. You are going to arrive at the wilderness boundary at the 3 mile mark, after which you will need a permit(Baldy Ranger Station). Get an adventure pass to park(Big5). This is a really sacred place, and whatever little words I put on the internet don't do it much justice.

The Trump International - The Best $100 bucks you are going to spend in Vegas if you hate gambling

After taking a survey in statistics as an undergraduate, I realized the futility of casino gambling. During previous stays in Vegas, I would normally go to the Ritz in Lake Las Vegas about 20 minutes from the strip which did not have a casino either. When it closed, my wife booked rooms at the Signature, and some other hotel which were pretty smelly and you had to walk through their casinos to get to the room elevators. Fortunately, she booked rooms at the Trump this time.

Upon walking in the front door, there was no noticeable odor of cigarette or cigar smoke wafting into my nostrils to form a malignancy somewhere in my body. In addition, there were no drunkards shooting craps, fiddling with cards, or losing their money on other games of chance. The room was about 500sf, located on the 58th floor with a bird's eye view of the strip, and was pretty clean. I turned the sofa around so I could fully enjoy the view. The pool was heated to approximately 80 degrees, and I was the only person using it both days we were there. Top it all off with friendly and helpful hotel employees and I can honestly recommend this hotel.

The Violence of Zankou Chicken

The owner of Zankou Chicken murdered his entire family. And that's a fact, Jack.

If you don't like this place, then I am going to resort to name calling! Zankou fed me as a hungry grad student at UCLA for a handful of change. I usually get the chicken kebab cooked to order (takes 15 minutes) well done, moutabaal instead of hummus, and an order of Tabouleh. It comes with two skewers, rice, and some sliced raw white onion. The garlic sauce is so good, I could smear it on my face. This feast is way more than enough for two fat bitches to share and costs 11 bucks. 11 bucks. Unbafuckingliveable!

The Tarna Plate is seasoned, vertically broiled chicken, which is shaved off with a sharp knife, crisp on the outside and tender on the inside. It comes with hummus or mutabaal, salad, and tahini sauce. It is the best $9.25 meal ever in Los Angeles and they will give you unlimited bread, yellow peppers and pickled turnips with your order. I never got the beef, but my dad swore by it. I was like, What the fuck dad, its not called Zankou Beef. He never even tasted the fucking chicken.

My daughter and I came here all throughout the 90's and it was her very favorite place to eat. It is a great place to take your children, is what I am trying to say. She always got the rotisserie 1/2 chicken plate and the owner would give her a Kit-Kat Bar when we waltzed out of the place. Good Times.

Some of my friends bitch and moan about Zankou but they are just haters. Armenian food is some of the best in the universe.

YMC Lame

I had not been in the Ketchum Downtown YMCA since 2003 or so, and wanted very much to go swimming on a Monday when the Los Angeles City Pools are all closed. So I came in here and asked for a trial membership (I was never gonna join anyway, I just wanted to use the pool) and discovered it was closed. What the fuck are they thinking? Is there a structural problem or something? Since I don't play racket ball, am not into mutual masturbation in the locker room, and would not want to catch someone's germs from a filthy exercise machine, I don't think I will ever return here. Not even to fart in a yoga class.

Union Family Dental and the Dingleberry Dentist

I cracked a tooth this afternoon and was in a great deal of pain within a couple of seconds. I called the office to let them know I was having an emergency and was on my way. I got there moments later and proceed to wait for two hours in excruciating pain. I felt like Dustin Hoffman in the film Marathon Man after Dr. Zell tortured him with dental instruments.

Instead of reading a magazine, I peered out into the parking lot of this place and watched the parade of prostitutes, pimps, cocaine dealers, heroin dealers, cops, johns, and regular people trying to do their laundry. I am telling you, this shopping center would give the Clinton White House a run for its money. No less than a dozen prostitutes working out of here. No less than 20 people milling about, up to no good, and dealing narcotics and crack cocaine. My ex-wife Ann should try and rent an apartment in this neighborhood. A guy in the filthy tenement across the street keeps a vigilant eye out for the cops on the fire escape on the third floor and whistles loudly and makes a clicking sound to warn the scofflaws and strumpets. Every once in a while, a patrol car from the LAPD Keystone Division which is responsible for this area, drives through the parking lot but long after these wily criminals have scurried to the relative safety of the laundromat and the donut shop.

First they took an x-ray. When the dentist finally examined me, I told him that I wanted an injection of novocaine and was willing to pay him any price for said injection. I seriously would have paid him 100 bucks in cash for that fucking shot.

He leaves me in the chair, and then the receptionist tells me to get up and tries to hand me a fucking referral to another dentist. It is already 5:30 mind you, and the place they referred me to was in the process of closing. Still no injection.

After flipping my wig in the office, the guy finally gives me a prescription for Tylenol #3. I promptly got that shit filled and took several of them at once.

I will never return to this place under any circumstances and will use my mom's dentist from now on starting tomorrow. Dr. Suharto was a complete failure as a dentist. He sent me away from his office in a frightening amount of pain without treating my cracked molar. He is a dingleberry among dentists.

Papa Cristo is Super Mario

I really like the food here and Super Mario is a super cool guy. He stocks some really good olives, vinegar, anchovies, olive oil, Greek Provolone, and nice fresh baked bread. Super Mario can also hook you up with a super delicious, tender, well seasoned whole grilled lamb for about $130.00. If you are an alcoholic, you can purchase several varieties of Ouzo here. The food available on the restaurant side is consistent, but not great. It is always better with some of the free roasted Serranos and garlic and some free green olives on the side. I like the lamb chops, the rack of lamb, grilled octopus, and the chicken souvlaki, but tend to think the gyro looks like processed, formed Skippy brand canned dog food. Lamb chops used to be a good deal but are not any longer. Prices for rack of lamb hover between 15-20 bucks. Grocery=4.5 stars Restaurant=solid 3 stars.

Gam Ja Gol - Koreatown Normandie and Olympic

This local K-Town strip mall men's joint has some of the best food in the world served at their humble tables. My family came from New Mexico where they worshiped chilie, pork and garlic just as much as our Korean brothers. My grandma, (may god have mercy on her soul) used to cook up a similar, but inferior pork and red chilie concoction. Her stew was top notch, five star stuff, and her family raised all of their own chilies and hogs. The mixture was served with hominy and called Pozole, or it would grace her perfect tamales. Sometimes she rolled it into a handmade, homemade flour tortilla for the perfect snack.

The Korean grandmother cooking at this place is making it happen! I brought my people from Lebanon, Greece, and Mexico here tonight, and they all compared it to their grandmother's food too. The panchan is good, nothing to write home to Dear Leader about, but respectable still. The Jap Chae was exemplary, and I wanted refill after refill of this great sesame flavored noodle dish fit for a chubby dictator in an army tunic and his favorite son.

The Pork Neck and Potato stew is the thing to get here, but I have never ordered anything else. The large for 4 people (enough for 6) is priced at a reasonable 34.99 and comes to your table in a bubbling cauldron with whole shiso leaves on top. It has some whole mustard seed in there too. There are pieces of pork backbone cooked so the meat be falling off the bone along with boiled potatoes in a deep rich red chilie broth. Wooooo Weeeee! That's what I'm talking about! It has the best chilie flavor that permeates everything, and leaves you licking your fingers. Just when you think that the meal is over, the waiter takes your leftovers and makes pan fried rice for your lunch tomorrow with sesame oil on top.

I think Korean food is the stuff my dreams are made of! The food of Korea is some of the most well thought out food of all mankind. This is some kick ass, filling homemade food that will warm your soul.

Why I hate the New York Times

This review telling you that this paper sucks is based on the recent New York Times puff piece by Jo Becker and Scott Shane entitled: "Secret 'Kill List' Proves a Test of Obama's Principles and Will" and another cream-filled piece in which they saluted the executioner in chief for launching an act of war against Iran. Cyberwar, but war nonetheless. Extrajudicial execution is just a bad idea. Period. You do something like that to someone and they spend the rest of their lives plotting to do the same to you. At some point, all of that hate gets hard to control. The drone strikes should not be glorified by any newspaper in this country. Declaring an illegal war against another country is a bad idea. Period. It too should not be glorified by any newspaper in this country. It is enough to gag a maggot. Especially when presenting Obama as a particularly moral man, who devotes himself to the "just war" writings of religious figures like Thomas Aquinas and St Augustine. Are you fucking kidding me people? Thomas Aquinas? St. Augustine? People who think about war as just are just assholes. Anyone who makes a kill list and then gets a robot to do it is a fucking coward. I think it is time to start putting nails back in the coffin of the military industrial complex not promoting its expansion.

I have some news for you assholes over there at the Times. The world is not a fucking videogame and America does not have special powers.

Clearly this paper has no balls. What kind of brainless chickenshit warmongering articles are these? I would expect jingoist drivel like this from a paper like the Rodong Simun, but am kind of disgusted that it is being printed here in what many consider to be the "best print newspaper in existence". I used to recommend this paper to a ton of people in the library. I will now recommend it only to wrap up fish and chips.

Devil's Canyon not too Devilish

The slight drizzle yesterday made for an interesting November trail run. This trail begins with a 3 mile run down some switchbacks and then along the floor of the canyon until you get to a little campground. It took me about 20 minutes to run down the trail, and it was mostly easy to follow. It is slightly eroded in some areas so you should exercise caution. There is water down there but is is swarming with pathogens, so you will need to use a filter.

Although this area was scorched by the Station Fire, there are many surviving conifers and what with all the water in the canyon, this area is remarkably green. The skeletons of the burned trees offer a nice contrast. There are a couple of nice rock formations. All the way down, there are nice campsites. I saw several deer, but just two other people.

My favorite vegan place in Southern California - Happy Family on Atlantic in Monterey Park

I have to admit that since I have been eating at this place for a long time so me and my family get outstanding service which amounts to special treatment. Well, I have to say that I would rather be a VIP here than at some stupid place like Maestro's Steakhouse where the people are as phony as the meat here. The new digs are pretty nice and the staff here rock. It has been my favorite fake meat place since the Fragrant Vegetable closed several years ago.

The all you can eat cooked to order food can be a bit oily, and has msg, but what great flavor most of the choices have especially with the fresh chili and soy sauce on top. My favorites are the sesame house chicken (a batter fried button mushroom in sticky sauce with sesame), stir fried baby bean leaves, eggplant with basil, Chinese sausage with pickled cabbage, pork with broccoli, and the kung pao squid. They give you squab in lettuce cups and a fried egg roll now on the all you can eat menu. The only thing I don't like is the fish with the sweet reddish sauce. The other 90 choices are worth returning to try. Don't fill up on soup.

I originally came here as the reluctant guest of my vegan brother and was quickly won over by the price (it used to be about 5 bucks now it is13), and the overall quality of this place. The owners are gracious and are a huge asset to the vegetarian community. What a joy to come here with you family. Enjoy happy times with them here!

You Like Tasty Garden?

The food at this Taiwanese coffee shop is hit or miss. The waffle is fantastic, the iced tea in the boot shaped glass kicks ass with its free refills. My lychee drink was exotic, cold and delicious.

The food that we ordered was about 50%. The shrimp fried rice was a nice snack, competently prepared, but not gourmet. However, the Mapo Tofu was just a fucking abomination which had the taste and texture of a runny egg white mixed with soy sauce. I got some vegetables with nice greens and sauteed mushrooms. This was simple and the best thing we ordered besides the waffle.

The interior of this place is what it must look like when Prince throws up. What must of been going through the designer's head is anyone's guess. Although I am determined to try all of the places in this shopping center, I must say that Happy Family rules the roost so far. Go there instead.

Pure Life Alternative Bullshit Dispensary on La Cienega

If you like overpriced buds, then as Brigham Young once said several hundred miles northeast of here: "This is the Place". I was aghast at seeing an eighth of Private Reserve(read Bullshit Reserve) selling for 80 bucks. I do not like the vibe of this place or most of the people working here, though there are a couple of exceptions. Seems like the clerk is on roids. The cool guy I think is named Carlos. Also I got an edible here that was very strong, tasted like rasberry jam, but on the downside was 12 bucks. Most of the other bud selections are 50 bucks for an eighth not a place where they will bargain with you at all in fact will react with pedantic hostility when asked to do so. With several hundred places located in 10 mile radius from this place selling medical marijuana for around half the price, it was very easy to vote with my feet and walk away from this place.

London on Virgin Atlantic: Benny Hill and those Retarded Royals

I decided to visit England a little while ago. I had always been a great admirer of Benny Hill, the most influential Brit of the 20th Century, and I got a good deal on my ticket. The English people seemed pretty friendly. It is too bad that their government consents to being our pet poodle. When I got to London, I dedided to take a little trip over to Brixton. It seemed remarkably similar to one of our own marginalized areas, but I felt safer walking around because fewer people and their mothers carry firearms. I decided to buy some weed, but did not have any references. I asked a friendly bloke, and he told me to head up this street until I reached a pub named "The Plug", at which point I was to make a right and continue walking until I reached the Green Leaf Cafe. He told me to go in and order a Coke from the black geezer inside, and they would know what I came in for. I followed the directions, and arrived at the cafe and ordered the beverage like the guy told me. The guy opened a kettle on the counter, and showed me the merchandise. It was a little steep for 20 fucking quid, but when in Rome.

I got to visit the British Museum, and wound up taking three days there alone. The other museums that I visited, such as the National Portrait Gallery and the Tate Modern were awesome as well. I also visited the Tower of London, and Buckingham Palace. That Royal Family is ugly as fuck. If I had all that princely money, I would buy a new face and new hair color. I have no idea what the obsession with these inbred fucks is all about, but it was interesting to see the palace and crown jewels. The problem with Monarchy is that even the good kings are bad. I would like to see all their heads on pikes. Pikes Peak of course.

I thought the cost of food in London was highway robbery. The best deal that you are going to find on food is at the Kensington Farmer's Market. You can get a big sandwich for 2 pounds. Shawerma in Notting Hill is awesome too.

As to Virgin Atlantic, all I can say is that I took a smorgasborg of pills before I got on the plane, when I woke up mid-flight, and the balance when I arrived at Heathrow. I have no idea what transpired while we were flying across the pond. But it must have been okay, becuase they were not waiting for me with handcuffs at the terminal.

Looking for a Place to get your hair cut in Koreatown? Try Jerrys but plan to spend 20 Bucks

For a few years, my hair was falling out and I thought that I was going to be balder than Axl Rose in no time flat before I turned 50. Then after I started exercising vigorously on a daily basis, it miraculously started growing back. Praise the lard! It stopped falling out and started growing back. Even in the front. Amazing! My doctor, who reminds me somewhat of Dr. Nick on the Simpsons tells me it is because of the increased circulation which is what he says minoxidil does to your scalp, too. If you plan to get a hair transplant, don't waste your money. They look like doll plugs anyway. Who the fuck do you think you are fooling? Everybody knows. That is why they are staring at your hairline. Run, swim, and lift weights instead. You may get lucky like I did.

I have walked past this place a hundred times, and am glad I finally stopped. At the outset, this is not one of those barbershops where some douche with long hair and mutton chops offers you a shot of whiskey before he whips out a straight razor and cuts your hair for a hundred bucks so you can be hip. He has been in the area since 1980 which by today's standards might as well be 1890. There are over a dozen places to get your hair cut in a 1/4 mile radius of Jerry, but he is by far the best of them that I have been to. If you are a cheap skate like me, this is going to cost you more than double what your normal cheap ass clipper cut costs. It is worth the price for talking to him alone, and I was really happy with the haircut.

Bryan Kest is the Best

I recently came here again with my daughter for a class on Tuesday morning. I have gone into a lot of yoga places around town and have really wished that I had half an Oki Dog to put underneath the heater so that the people can sense my lack of approval for their phoniness. They may say namaste, but when you see how they treat the cleaning lady or fight you for a parking space over at Urth Cafe, it is enough to induce projectile vomiting.

The people at Bryan Kest power yoga are for real. This is a seriously challenging, hardcore workout taught by people who are serene and willing to share true yoga with you. I am no expert on yogic philosophy and karma, but I don't think that studios that engage in litigation and attempt to assert ownership, dominion and control over yoga poses represent true yoga. In my lifetime, I have seen Santa Monica transform from a very compassionate and liberal place into one of the world's most gleaming examples of insidious capitalism. By requesting a donation after class, Bryan Kest Power Yoga may just be the only remnant of that great era in a sea of soulless places like the Border Grill and Design Within Reach.

Damon's Glendale- Time for a Drunkening

Damon's opened in the same year that my dad was born, back when Glendale was the home of the American Nazi Party and when Armenia was a part of the Soviet Union. The interior is decorated with lots of Hawaiian crap and some of the best light fixtures I have ever seen in my life. If I had one of Damon's Tiki light fixtures and a real Tiffany lamp, I would probably hang the Damon's fixture in my living room, and the Tiffany lamp over my toilet. There are quite a few saltwater aquariums here with fish that your kids can pester while they smear their germ and food filled hands on the glass.

The Damon's Mai Tai is the tropical drink by which all other tropical drinks are measured. If you are an alcoholic, you are going to love this place. Even the ice is better here than at any other bar I have been to. It makes the drink taste like an alcoholic tropical snow cone. I have never ordered anything but the Mai Tai here to drink. If you want to get shit in your shoes drunk, have about four of these. I would never order a Chi Chi.

The steaks here are not prime, dry aged, nor particularly of the highest quality, but tasty nonetheless. It is an honest steak, and they will cook it more or less like you asked for it. I like rare filet, the hamburger steak and the gravy which tastes like it was made from a powder in a foil envelope. The salad is cold, crisp, has beets, and is pretty good. Ask them to bring you one with the regular house dressing and another with ranch dressing. They give you a half a baked potato stuffed with mashed potatoes which can be hit or miss. The fried shrimp is crispy, hot, competent and a better choice than the broiled shrimp. You should upgrade to garlic bread.

This place is a throwback to the day when a salad tossed table side did not have a filthy meaning, and a three drink lunch was not "good cause for dismissal" from your job. It is not exactly cheap to eat and drink here, but by no means outrageous. I would much rather come here than most steakhouses and that is for damn sure.

Promethazine with Codeine and Fogo De Chao Brazillian Restaurant

Imagine sitting in front of a 50 gallon drum of Promethazine with Codeine Cough Syrup. Pretty soon, you are going to say to yourself, "This stuff is not bad for you if you take it in moderation. Why they say that it might even be good for you! It will do me no harm if I take a little bit...." Well, you know what is going to happen.

Here at Fogo De Chao, the same thing is going to happen but with beef. In my defense, someone gave me a gift certificate.

Jeff's Terrible Kosher Sausage Factory - An Oxymoron of a Restaurant

Jeff's sucks. It's reason for existence is for Jewish people to show their families that they really don't sneak pork when god is not watching. They can go to Jeff's to create a facade of minding their dietary restrictions. Monday through Friday, they are sneaking the sausage. Mark my word. The food here is the culinary equivalent of fake tits. Ultimately, it is expensive and disappointing. The chili on the fries is a real cross between foul and awful.

I had a kraut dog (competent), merguez (not bad but not memorable either) and chili fries (get the fucking rope). Five stars? Perhaps you should get out more often, you Kosher dumbass. For what you are going to spend here, you could easily eat real hotdogs and fries at Fab's and have some money left in your pocket. Even though Pink's has some mighty shitty hotdogs, they are leaps and bounds better than anything I have tasted here. If you are in this area, there are other Kosher places that serve far better food.

USC is a College Full of Twat Sucking Cunts but La Barca is Pretty Cool

La Barca is about the best of the mediocre Mexican spots in Los Angeles where you can order a predictable combo plate with several permutations of taco, enchilada, relleno, and tostada with rice and beans. It is overwhelmingly better than Barragan's, El Cholo, El Coyote, La Talpa, etc. but is neither authentic nor innovative or tasty. The owners and employees aim to please, and you will be pleased by the low prices and snappy service. The food is consistent, bland and predictable, but the enchiladas Suizas, fried chicken or beef taquitos, huevos rancheros, and nachos are made to order and not entirely without merit. There is something about La Barca that I really like but it is not the food. For ages, it was the single solitary place to eat and drink in the neighborhood, and the restaurant really succeeds in making people feel comfortable and have a good time. It is a place where public drunkenness is easily forgiven, and USC students, cops, robbers, and people from the neighborhood sit side by side eating and drinking at prices that will not break the bank.

By the way Trojans, your school sucks. Go Bruins!

A Good Experience at Santa Monica Ford

My 2004 Mercury Grand Marquis was giving me some trouble, and my colleague who teaches auto mechanics told me it was the converter, and that it might even be under warranty. I took the car to the Ford dealership on Beverly and Vermont, and was told by the head liar in their service department that it was probably not the converter, and that I would be required to pay $100.00 for a diagnostic. I voted with my feet, and went to Santa Monica Ford.

I was greeted by the porter who was friendly at the outset. Then, a guy named Tom Hum assisted me. He immediately told me that it sounded like the converter, and commented that it was still under warranty. I picked it up a day later at no charge. I was delighted that Mr. Hum did not try and take advantage of me or give me the run around. I wrote them a letter to express my thanks.