My cousin's three children are a remarkable bunch! I am well aware of how supremely annoying it is when parents brag about their children. I frequently observe gargoyle ugly children being told by their lying shit sack parents that they are just beautiful when the exact opposite is true. The overwhelming majority of relatives that praise their fugly nieces, nephews, grandchildren, and then proclaim how talented they supposedly are make me want to blow chunks. But my little cousins are an exception. They are darling children. Carlos, the oldest, is such a great looking kid and in possession of a very high IQ. He truly has the best genes of both his parents. The middle child is darling too, and quite determined on the trail, a little reserved at first, but empathetic and kind. The 18 month old girl has one of the best personalities of any small child I have ever met. If you met them, you would see for yourself. Forgive my bragging, but I can't help myself because they are so special.
The children are suffering psychological distress because my cousin and her estranged husband are currently embroiled in an exceedingly high conflict divorce and custody matter over at the Stanley Mosk Courthouse. While the case is super ugly and both parties exceedingly unyielding, it is not something that I care to become involved in as a witness or a participant in any other way, shape, or form. I do want to offer my time to helping these kids as much as I can. They are well loved. While obviously I would like my cousin to win because she is family, I am old enough to know that there are no winners in a family law matter. Also, it takes two to tango. Whoever your relative is in a divorce matter, remember that they married that other person. When parties divorce, they are batshit crazy. It is wise to limit your involvement as much as possible while still being supportive. You do it by focusing on the kids and taking their mind off the domestic problems by allowing them to be kids. When they start talking about the divorce or asking questions, simply start talking about something else. Then get them to the park or another place where they can enjoy themselves without being reminded of alienation and litigation.
There are only losers in domestic cases, and those losers are almost without exception, the minor child of the parties. There is nothing more emotionally traumatic than a divorce to a small child with the possible exception of the death of an immediate family member or a tragic and disfiguring accident. The people in most divorce cases that I am rooting for are the minor children, but that is not the objective of the Family Law and Juvenile Dependency Court Judges and the community of matrimonial lawyers and their support staff who understand that the process has immense commercial value and directly employs thousands of individuals in Los Angeles County injecting hundreds of millions of dollars into State and Local economies.
Family law attorneys in Los Angeles are primarily a worthless lot as are employees of the DCFS. If I solved problems utilizing violent means, I would probably use hand tools to dismember and grind them up into Soylent Green. Tuesday is Soylent Green Day. Most of the judges on the Family Law Panel at Mosk could probably be replaced by a simple computer application that would apply the California Family Code with both precision and total judicial blindness. They should be sent to the wastebasket of history and judicial panels should only be used in the most abstract of cases. Litigants should be considered applicants instead, and joint legal and physical custody to the parties should be automatic and as easy as filling out a Marriage License with the County Registrar and Recorder and always processed on the same day while you wait. It should be obtainable by either party for good cause, bad cause, or no cause at all. Completely no fault and processed with the utmost efficiency and speed. Just think of all the money that could be saved! Vigorously prosecute all Family Court litigants that make false accusations, especially false allegations of sexual abuse in criminal court. Domestic cases are the only matters where perjury is not taken seriously despite the immense damage that generally takes place as a result of parents making false accusations about their estranged spouses during custody and support battles. I propose that making false accusations of sexual abuse during a divorce or paternity proceeding should be codified as a felony, and that the District Attorney vigorously investigate and file cases against the perpetrators of chickenshit rumormongering. The overwhelming majority of litigants that bear false witness against their former spouse are female, but of course men occasionally act like cunts and snitch like weaselly bitches.
Having been personally involved in multiple family cases since June 5th, 1999, I can tell you without reservation that it is a not a good thing to be involved in. By associating with turds, you are inevitably going to wind up with fecal matter on your hands. As I had mentioned, dealing with most family law attorneys in Los Angeles will require you to wash your hands frequently with hot water and AJAX. Scrub your hands under the hot water for at least 40 seconds and clip your fingernails. It is especially important not to become emotionally involved in the case of a family member. It is prudent to offer support to your relative but avoid becoming a witness or reading court material and documents.
What you should do is try and spend as much time as possible with the minor children and provide them with the ability to act like kids as the life they once knew sadly unravels. There are many activities that will take their little minds off the tension in the households of both separated parents. Of course the children will want to please their parents, and will bring them up frequently. As an uncle or aunt, grandparent, cousin, or older sibling, you need to let the kids know how important both parents are. There is no excuse for you to talk any shit about a little kid's parents and the damage that will occur to their self esteem will take years of psychotherapy later in life to unravel. Instead of talking shit and acting like a turd, praise the dad and praise the mom. Talk about some of the good things about both parents and tell the kids that they are loved and that everything always works out in the end and that it just takes a little time to heal.
I knew of a case where an upper-middle class woman from Manhattan Beach made false accusations of sexual abuse against her ex-husband. The allegations were creepier than the McMartin Pre School horseshit that they accused the Buckeys of 30 years ago. She almost succeeded in getting him arrested and prosecuted, but fortunately the judge smelled shit and put a stop to the fiasco by awarding custody to the father. Thank God! There was nothing wrong with dad other than the fact that mom hated him and wanted to damage him. She tried to enlist all her friends and relatives to go against him, but I never jumped on that bandwagon. Her entire family did jump on that bandwagon and badmouthed the dad, threatened him with violence, and literally tried to assassinate his character. It did not work, but there are many cases where it does. These people who participate in this sickening behavior should never be around children in the first place and the poor damn kids should probably go into foster care where they might just have a fucking fighting chance at living a normal life.
I suggest that if someone asks you to take sides in a custody battle, just take the side of the minor children instead and remember when you were a small child that it would have been devastating if some dumb ass relative said something bad about your mom or dad. My cousin's kids adore their father, and so I always make it a point to tell them their dad is an awesome athlete and that he should lift weights, strength train, and get involved in Martial Arts like his dad. I tell him his dad is a man and that a big part about growing into a person is physical fitness. They need to be able to look up to dad who is obviously going to teach him that important stuff. Mom seems to be a little more gifted in the intelligence arena. All three kids are clearly in possession of those smarts, so I try and bring that up frequently as well. I tell them how hard it is to be intelligent and how I used to try and hide it from the other kids. Make them feel good about it instead of being worthless and talking shit. I think this goes a long way to building self esteem and confidence.
Anyhow, I take care of my two special guys and my angelic little girl every Saturday, all day. This Saturday, I took them on a moderate 4 mile trail run. I carried the little girl, but the boys went un-assisted all the way up a steep trail with about 1200 ft elevation gain. They followed my instructions to the letter, and booked up the hill. The older boy is 6, and in addition to being remarkably intelligent, seems to have inherited his father's natural athletic ability. He was able to keep up and clearly has the ability to go much farther and could easily learn how to boulder and do a hard scramble. I am hoping to take him to Baldy next time we spend some time together so he can bag his first 10k Peak. The 4 year old boy did well also, and the little girl seems to be a thrill seeker. I gave them constant reassurance and let them talk. Getting to the summit was great for their self esteem. They did it all themselves and I was really proud of them! I pointed out the Hawks, Ravens, Reptiles, Rodents, Sycamores, Oaks, Crows, Robins, and the magnificent views from high on top of the Santa Monica Mountains. I know they are all hooked on trail running, cause when we ran down, the boys booked down the hill non-stop for two miles. A long way when you are a little kid.
When I took them home, they were all out like a light. The little guys are just wonderful kids and I am looking forward to teaching them all about fishing, rifle skills, backpacking, swimming, trail running, integrity, and a general love of the outdoors. I hope to provide them with a sanctuary where they can feel secure, protected, loved, and the ability to act like kids and run free without a care in the world. I am especially stoked to take them running on the trails of the Santa Monicas, San Gabriels, and the San Bernardino National Forest. It takes a mountain to build a man (and a woman, too, of course).
When I spend time with these wonderful little people, I see the best qualities of both parents and the potential for individual greatness for all three of them.
