Los Angeles County District Attorney

The District Attorney prosecutes felonies throughout the County and misdemeanor cases in un-incorporated areas of Los Angeles County. They do not help baby's mamas collect support any longer. Our very first District Attorney was named Will Ferrell and the last one was a raging alcoholic with the complexion of an orange peel by the name of Steve Cooley. I would like to give Jackie Lacey the benefit of the doubt, but you have to acknowledge that she came up in this terrible organization. Any African American who works for the District Attorney is a motherfucking tom. I started paying attention to this office when Ira Reiner was at the helm trying to make headlines with the sensational (bogus) Mc Martin Pre School case in the 80's. Fast forward to Garcetti losing the OJ trial. At around this time, I gained access to a constantly changing treasure trove of official documents that have given me a unique perspective on this office. The names Van de Kaamp and Philbosian sound vaguely familiar. I have noticed that the attorneys that work here have some serious ethical shortcomings. It is the policy of this office to withhold exculpatory evidence from criminal defendants and it is condoned and encouraged at the management level. Lacey seems to have acknowledged this from the outset. I commend her for it but it is too little, too late. The Public has already lost faith. Forgery and perjury are the order of the day. Many of the deputies are the type of people who would trample over your body in a disaster to save their own skin. When the largest open air drug market in town is located adjacent to Parker Center and with the tally of murders in Los Angeles currently at 355 (as of 8/5/12), it is clear there is a crime problem. Much attention is focused on corruption in the LAPD and the LASD but most of their employees are clearly decent individuals who do a decent job. The DA's office is permeated with a culture of filth like the Catholic Church is permeated with pederasts.

Hayat's Kitchen

The kitchen here puts out some perfect meza that really stands out in an area saturated with Lebanese and Armenian places. From the moment that they set the pickled turnips, cucumbers and olives on the table to the time they served the complimentary baklava, everything we tasted was of the highest quality, made with the freshest ingredients, and seasoned so perfectly that I would not dream of adding a single thing. And when you eat this food, I promise you that you will not feel poisoned and bloated afterwords. If the old adage you are what you eat is true, I would rather be a plate of meza than one of those cows sitting in the Harris Ranch feed lot off the 5FWY. The vegetarian combination was a very generous platter of the usual suspects like falafel, baba ganoush, taboulleh, dolma. and hummus but all of these dishes were outstanding on their own. The falafel here is particularly delicious, crispy and redolent with extra cumin. The baba smokey, creamy, and tart simultaneously was very memorable. I very much liked the taboulleh, as well. We also ordered a fresh and simple cabbage salad that was spot on as well. The mousaka was more subtle than the version that I am accustomed to and contained a fair amount of garbanzo beans. This delicately flavored dish is just awesome. The fries with garlic, cilantro, dipped in garlic sauce and ketchup are what garlic fries at most places only dream of being. Of course the fries are hand cut and served sizzling hot the way god intended them to be served. There is enough garlic on top even for a Thai person or a Mexican to be more than happy. The server made both of us feel welcome, and was very attentive without being cloying. The two pieces of buttery baklava they gave us kicked ass. My wife wanted to take some home, but I told her not to bother because I know we will be coming back very soon.

Mormon Underwear

This morning, I went for a run in Griffith Park and during my descent, I encountered a group of 400 Mormons in the picnic area near Ferndale. They were all preparing to remove litter from our beloved park. It was really touching to me. Bless them. I don't see too many other groups of any kind organizing to clean the pizza boxes, cigarette butts, plastic bottles and dog shit off these magnificent trails in this oasis from the boobery of Los Angeles proper. But in addition to giving a helping hand to a park in need, I can attest that the Mormon neighbors that I have had were all stand up people. This country was founded by three groups of people: convicts, religious malcontents, and people who had pretty much burned things out in their countries of origin or enslaved by them. Every time I hear someone say something negative about Romney and or the Mormons, may I remind you that the talking snake in Genesis is equally strange as anything that the Mormons or any other religious group believes. Don't call the kettle black. Also, it may do you some good to abstain from alcohol periodically. And tobacco. And it might also be a good idea to have some real family time. Maybe you too could set aside some time with your wives and have a rad four-way. And maybe your church, temple or mosque could go clean up our park once in a while.

Self Realization Fellowship

This is a beautiful place that welcomes all free of charge. You can walk around the lake and stop at shrines dedicated to the great religions of the world. You can feed the giant koi and enjoy the flowers if prayer, pederasty, chanting, compassion, Wahabbism or immaculate conception are not your thing. My 6th grade teacher Sally Lew took our class on a field trip here about fifty years ago and this was one of the first places I drove to when I got my license. My great friend Tracy and her awesome husband were married here a decade ago. My fondest wish and desire would be to demolish all the buildings in the Santa Monica Mountains except this one. The mountains are sacred, and this place conforms to the uniform sacred code. Bring some lunch here for a picnic you will never forget. People thought this was:

Humboldt County

If you like to hike in some of the most beautiful forest left remaining in the world, hunt, fish, camp, and smoke some world class buds, then you have reached Nirvana. There are some places here that will give you a religious experience, and other places like Eureka that will not. The little towns all seem to have distinct personalities. Some of these places are not too hippie friendly, though a few of them are. My brother attended Humboldt State University, so I had a pretty good introduction to the place, but keep finding new treasures each time I visit. Besides the Redwoods, you can visit the Mad, Mattole, and Eel Rivers, the coast, and several hundred miles of hiking trails from Honeydew and Shelter Cove up to the Del Norte County line and east all the way to the Trinity Alps. It is truly a sportsman's paradise, one of those places where there are plenty of deer to shoot, along with abundant steelhead and bottom fish to hook. Most people will find it difficult to become gainfully employed up there.

Baja Fish

Personally, I wish I could flip a switch and make the South Bay disappear. I despise everything that Manhattan Beach stands for and many of the people who live there. Give me Pedro over Manhattan, Hermosa or Redondo any day of the week, but all these places suck. There are some good things about Pedro, such as 22nd Strret Landing fishing, and Baja Fish. The Mexican Seafood at this place is competent, fresh, cooked to order, and the price is right. I get the grilled tuna burrito and a cocktail with octopus and shrimp under normal circumstances when I come here. There is a salsa bar, and the sauces are pretty good. I have sampled most of the items on the menu here with the exception of the soups. Every single time I have come here, I have been exceedingly happy with the food. You just order at the counter and you pick up your food when the order is ready. The employees here are friendly and efficient. The freshness of the fish is readily apparent to me when I look at it on the ice in the display case. They offer a great deal on the yellowfin burrito with fresh avocado, rice and beans. You will fill up here for ten bucks a person. It is worth the drive for me!

Ciro's Restaurant: A lot of #1 and #2. Mostly #2.

THE GOOD The beer is cold, the chips and free avocado salsa rock. The salsa roja is hot and tasty. The service here is outstanding. No problems here. There are things that cannot be fucked up here like the flautas, and the chorizo and egg burrito. The flautas here are the gold standard, thin, crisp taquitos with a little bit of shredded beef with avocado salsa, and crema. Unfortunately, they do not compensate for overall poor quality of the food they served to me the last couple of times I came in. THE BAD The quality of the food here is going downhill pretty quick. The steak picado used to be pretty damn good. Not the last couple of times I have been here. Instead of steak, I was served sinew fried with onions and peppers. The cheese in the enchilada plate is not melted. Please put them back in the oven and serve them when they are ready. THE FUGLY Fuck nostalgia when you order a fried taco plate and there is enough grease on the plate to lube your car. The cook here needs to lift the fucking basket up from the deep fryer and drain the lard from the goddamn tacos before he puts them on the plate. This place gets nearly 3 stars, almost as good as El Tepeyac across the street, but not quite.

Roscoe's House of Chicken and Attitude

The chicken and waffles here are good, but what really sets this place apart is the fucked up service. I don't want to spend my money tipping people that clearly do not like me. Give me fried chicken, but let me keep my dignity.

Miller Brewing Company

Miller, the embalming fluid of beers, ought to be ashamed of themselves for sponsoring the Tools For Success Graduation award in our local community college automobile programs for several reasons. Firstly, the Miller Brewing Company produces dangerous, sub-standard products that contribute to numerous automobile accidents on a daily basis. Miller Beer is involved in hundreds if not thousands of automobile collisions every year and many of them are fatal. Alcohol manufacturers and automobile technology and repair should be mutually exclusive. Instead, we should force the alcoholic beverage industry to retrofit every existing automobile with an ignition interlock device and force the automotive industry to make this a standard feature on all new cars. Secondly, Miller targets the Tools for Success program at Latinos. Alcohol is simply a poison for people who are mestizo or indigenous with almost no exceptions, instantly addicting and frequently fatal. It is a terrible idea to drink any alcohol whatsoever if you are of Mexican descent. It is clearly a genetic condition that does not allow us to drink alcohol in moderation and without horrible consequences like other people. Miller should be ashamed of giving free tools away, and the winners should be ashamed of taking them. It is like targeting a group of people who are at risk of cancer and giving them a catalyst. Finally, community colleges are not an appropriate advertising platform for alcoholic beverages or other mind altering drugs. If anything, it should be a platform for educating people about the dangers of alcohol. Public schools should not participate in the program or allow Miller to distribute applications and paraphernalia with the Miller logo to its students or set up displays on campus. I know that it may seem like a big great philanthropic deal to have an alcohol manufacturer award a full cabinet of tools to an outstanding graduate of an automotive technology program, but if you consider it for a while, I am sure you can see how deceptive Miller truly is.

Mac Arthur Park

Yesterday, I ordered the legendary #19 at Langer's and opted to walk back to Koreatown instead of using public transportation. I headed up Alvarado, and then West on Wilshire. Over the course of my walk, I was overwhelmed with a sudden deluge of memories from my childhood. As I looked at the dilapidated roof of what used to be the boathouse, I remembered fondly how in the early 1970's my dad used to take me and my brothers here to rent paddle boats. I remembered the other business like Edwards Steakhouse, and the Westlake Theater before it was converted into a filthy and depressing indoor swapmeet. I vividly remember when the American Cement Building was occupied with a public relations firm instead of assorted loft owners that are too terrified to even take their dogs outside to shit and will not even walk over to the subway. Well, by that time, the area was already in a state of decline, but not even close to what was going to happen in the 80's. At one time, this had been a pretty highbrow area. The Park Plaza Hotel, The Bryson, Otis Parsons, and the former Sheraton Town House testify to the area's former glory. But it kind of reminds me today of Chernobyl. Our family boat rides preceded rock cocaine, false documents, and U.S. military interventions in Guatemala, El Salvador, and Nicaragua. But when I walked by yesterday, I realized that the foundation of the park is still there. The palm trees still thrive and the lake could easily be restored to its former glory. It is a tragedy that children no longer can enjoy those magical paddle boats that once graced the lake. The area clearly offers one of the very best views of the Downtown Skyline and with a Metro Station and the largest concentration of apartments in any area west of the Mississippi. Massive public investment is sorely needed immediately here for urban renewal. The area has been ignored far too long. Why the City of Los Angeles surrendered this park to the chickenshit criminals that occupy it today is incomprehensible to me. If I were the City Attorney, I would take my fat incompetent ass and focus on cleaning up this area instead of feebly attempting to seek higher office and jousting with medical marijuana dispensaries.

Musso and Frank's Grill

If nostalgia means puking up gin a few hours after you leave this place along with some partially digested toast points, then you are gonna get a hefty dose of nostalgia here. If you do not drink alcohol, and frown on the food available at the Circus Circus Buffet in Reno served by waiters in red monkey suits then you will not want to drop one hundred bucks on Welsh Rarebit. With that said, Mario the bartender will expertly facilitate your drunkening with a martini by which all martinis should be judged. You can close your eyes and inhale the stench of this old carpet, and you can almost picture W.C. Fields pissing on your leg in the bathroom or Gloria Swanson trying to grab your wiener at the bar.

A Pity Fuck at the UCLA Department of Hematology and Oncology

Cancer is something that most people try to block from their mind, and avoid contemplating entirely. A most unpleasant topic, indeed, and I guess that is why nobody has reviewed this place yet. Lymphomas and other blood cancers are becoming far more common than they were in the past, with new Non- Hodgkin's Lymphoma diagnoses escalating to the tune of 50,000 new cases per year with about 25,000 fatalities in the US alone. Even if you wish to bury your head in the sand like a big, fat, stupid ostrich, chances are you or someone you know will develop a malignancy, possibly one involving your precious bodily fluids. So you had best plan ahead. One day, you can be riding pretty high on the hog, sitting poolside, planning your Friday dinner with the wife, and spending your money like a Gulf Arab in Amsterdam. Another day, lady fortune can spin the wheel and perhaps you will find yourself on the other end of the phone as the doctor tells you that the biopsy came back and that you have an unusual cancer and that you are probably not going to live very long. Wrap up your financial affairs, they might advise, and say goodbye to your friends and family. It is surreal how that phone call will sound. It almost feels like they are talking to someone else but the words have to go through your ear first. It is kind of like the first episode of Breaking Bad when Walt is sitting in his doctor's office getting the bad news. But don't fret. First, light up a fat joint and then go out to a fine dinner. Order an extra starter and get that dessert. Turn on Laurel and Hardy and the Three Stooges. Keep your sense of humor, and don't lose your zest for life for one moment. Your mental health is probably equally as important as your physical health. Thank your lucky stars that you live in Los Angeles which is home to the finest cancer treatment centers in the world. City of Hope, Keck-USC, Cedars, and there are many others too. If you have Lymphoma, however, you want to go to UCLA and see Dr. Lauren Pinter-Brown. She is at the top of her game, and is the director of the Lymphoma program at this fine college. You will be in good hands here. Since it is a teaching hospital, the interns and residents will be taking a close look at you. You might be able to get one of the students to take pity on your cancer riddled ass and allow you to stuff their holes.

Pink's Hot Dogs

Getting food here is like being assaulted with a deli weapon. It should be codified in the California Penal Code as a felony. It is absolutely reckless, just insidious to serve this fecal matter to people. Landmark my ass. More like skidmark.

La Tiendita

The only way I think I could ever enjoy myself in San Clemente is if most of the people that lived there committed auto erotic suicide. Especially the Christians. As for the children of San Clemente, stop it with the heroin and the Xanax, already before you choke on your own vomit. There is nothing "cool" about that. You have not even finished High School yet. Now on to this little store. I used to have a weekend home pretty close by this place and found myself eating here frequently. My neighbor was Darryl Gates. Imagine that. While the burritos consist of a lot of food, they do not include any quality ingredients. For certain, you are going to get a football sized mass of shit wrapped in a tortilla for under $5.00 and it is going to fill you up until you can get to a town with a real Mexican restaurant (17 miles North of here in Santa Ana). Caution: do not order a fish burrito here. It is a good place to take a bunch of hungry teenagers to eat if you are sick of In n Out Burger and unable to leave this culinary/cultural wasteland. To be fair, the people that work here are pretty nice. A nice destination if you want to get into a bar fight, San Clemente is.

El Migueleno

I bet a lot of people go to eat at Salvadorean Restaurants because they may sound exotic. Sadly, the Salvadorean contribution to world cuisine, the pupusa, is a tasteless hockey puck of griddle cooked masa with cheese and pork skin that could easily be used to fill a pothole. A good pupusa is not even as good as a bad homemade tortilla! I have been to El Salvador previously, and if you are at Playa La Libertad ordering fish and lobster fresh out of the water and washing it down with cold Supremas, you are eating the very best food available in this little country. The comida tipica, which you will get at El Migueleno and most other Salvadorean restaurants however, is terribly bland and disappointing. A typical Salvadorean meal consists of lard fried plantains, refried black beans, cream, pupusas, curtido and some Pollo Campero if you are lucky. It is a nice meal, I suppose, if you have to fuel up for the day. I could go on and on about how bad the food is, and how bad it is in most of Central America in general, but the beer is cold and the people are wonderful.

Sam's Hofbrau

Having worked in the Pico Union neighborhood for the past fifteen years, I had often wondered where all of the street prostitutes working James M. Wood Blvd. went to retire. Well, after discovering Sam's Hofbrau, I finally found my answer. I find the sex industry to be pretty repulsive. Once you have seen one trashy skank that smells like tobacco smoke, rancid panocha, alcohol, and halitosis you have seen em all. But this is more than a puke-stained club filled with defective sex workers. It is a monument to filth and bad taste that serves up cheap beer, BBQ beef sandwiches, chili dogs, and haunting images that your mind will never erase. Violence can easily break out at this place. Be cautious. Alas, I am not daring enough to eat here. Sam, you have an odd sense of humor, but I likes you anyway.

Father's Office

If there is one thing that makes my blood boil, it is the people that come here and put their brittle, chapped lips on a beer glass, take a drink, and say how the burger here is the best burger they have ever tasted when these morons refuse to bring you ketchup. What is the matter with the owner of this place? Is this guy missing a chromosome or something? A hamburger without ketchup? Well, I think that it is up to me to decide whether or not I want to put ketchup on my fucking hamburger. So I brought a squeeze bottle of Heinz Ketchup for my burger and fries. Pretty good burger and fries. Nice white sauce with the fries. Of course, I covered them in ketchup, and without it, I would have thought, where is the fucking ketchup? I liked the arugula, and the onions, and the meat. The bun was okay. The beer selection here is very well thought out. No complaints here. The feeling that I am sitting in a factory courtyard with a bunch of former fraternity and sorority people makes me want to take a rape shower when I get home. Who died and made this asshole the determiner of burger free will. Motherfucker, please! People thought this was:

Sweet Lady Jane Bakery

I see a lot of fuckers coming in here cramming luscious cake into their cake holes, with their collagen injected lips thinking they are eating the best sweets on the West Coast. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed every single solitary slice of cake that I have ever ordered from this place but I am not jumping on the excessive admiration bandwagon here. My favorites are the cocoanut, and the orange cake, hands down. The coffee is also very good. But supposing that you or a close relative have kitchen competency, access to good ingredients and can follow a recipe, a cake from your own kitchen is going to taste a hell of a lot better than the slice you are going to buy here. And believe me, you are going to pay out of the ass here.

Shojin Japanese Vegetarian Restaurant. The best vegetarian place in the world!

I have had this place bookmarked since I first read about it on Yelp last April. We eat this type of food regularly because my brother Paul is a vegan. We came here for his birthday today and immediately I got this premonition that we are going to be spending a lot of evenings (and money) at this place in the foreseeable future. The vegan delights that we tried here had immense flavor, great presentation, and a nice variety. SInce there were four of us, we were able to sample a good deal of the menu. I liked almost everything that we had, and the service and atmosphere were most enjoyable as well. We came at around 2PM, so there were not very many customers and the servers were really attentive but I could imagine that when it is busy here, it must be difficult to get their attention. We ordered the following dishes: 1) Dynamite roll 2) Dragon Roll 3) Shojin Roll 4) Pirates Crunchy 5) Kale Carnival 6) Stuffed shittake 7) Rock Mountain Roll 8) Shiso tempura 9) Gyoza 10) Hot, Spicy Ramen 11) Miso Soup 12) Orange Chicken 13) Pumpkin Chowder 14) Ice Cream The sushi rolls are obviously top of the line. The gyoza, well, these things are pretty fucking good and although I am accustomed to pork and shrimp, I could easily down a dozen of these in a sitting. The vegan ramen was just awesome but everything was five stars. I thought very highly of this place. Great service to boot. Hail seitan!

Kulak's Woodshed

I found out about this place because of the story in the LA Weekly last year about that retarded porn star who was fighting with this poor guy. This place is a true treasure of the City of Los Angeles. Kulak is a noble gentleman, and his fine establishment deserves our widespread support from Yelpers everywhere. It kind of reminded me of some shows that I used to go to at Luna Park over 15 years ago. True lovers of music will have tears welling in their eyes in this place. No have a cigar vibe going on in here. I place the music, atmosphere, and people here very high on a pedestal. I sincerely felt like I was in a different City because most of the venues in Los Angeles have been ruined by Goldenvoice, KROQ, and other corporate weasels. Not the Woodshed. Keep up the good work, Kulak. I tell all my friends about this place, without reservation. I am glad the LA Weekly did that story that led me here.

Pacific Dining Car

If I were reviewing the breakfast exclusively, I would have given them a perfect rating. The banana and pecan pancakes, Eggs Blackstone, fried potatoes, and the muffins are spectacular. The breakfast cooks know how to cook your eggs a perfect over medium or however you desire them and the coffee is first rate. The steaks are just plain hunks of dead, unseasoned cow flesh and that $55.00 price on the menu makes you think surely they must jest. On a brighter note, the creamed spinach is one of my favorite sides anywhere and the fried potatoes are similar but not identical to the ones that come from my own kitchen. If you are alcoholic, you can get a proper but expensive fix here. If you puke on your shirt in the bathroom, nod off on percocet, if the prostitute you came in here with starts to become belligerent and loud, or you and your friends are coming down slowly from acid, they aren't going to mind. Your money is still green here. Lots of high powered attorneys, judges and other assorted assholes routinely clog their arteries with Hollandaise Sauce in this dining room. If you were a fly on the wall, you would find this place very entertaining.

LA Fish Company

I feel very sorry for this company given that a large portion of their wonderful seafood used to come from Japan. But as the other reviews attest, this is one of the finest places for any great chef who knows their FRESH seafood. How fresh is the fish? Pretty fucking fresh. It is because of the confidence they have in the freshness of their product that it is all there on ice for you to inspect, smell, feel, and buy. Having worked at a Japanese restaurant for a few years, I am readily familiar with selecting fresh seafood. You are going to want to look at the eyes, gills, and the color. You are going to want to pick up the fish, if possible, and smell it. If you know nothing about fish, the excellent staff here will be happy to assist you. This is a wonderful place to bring your well behaved children who are interested in cooking. It is truly exciting to see a 200 LB Tuna on the cutting board and something that I would have given an eye tooth for as a child. Keep in mind, though, that this is primarily a commercial place, so don't bring your kids if they are little shit asses. I usually purchase Pacific fish from the closest place possible. Some of my favorites include the various rockfish species, corvina from Santa Barbara and the Channel Islands, Scorpion Fish, California Halibut, Albacore, Mahi Mahi,. and Yellowtail. I have never been disappointed here. When you come in, they will tell you what species of fish are on the ice and invite you to inspect them. There is also a white board in the first room with all the processed fish and frozen seafood in stock and the prices. There is a price/product list on the internet or available at the window. When you are ready, tell the guy what you want and have him cut it for you if you wish. Then go to the window and pay. Your stuff will be placed in a box with ice for the ride home. Keep in mind that you have to buy the whole fish. They will not sell you a pound or two unless you get filets.

Food Network

This critique is for Diners, Drive Ins, and Diabetes. This show is fucking disgusting. While I advocate enjoying good food and patronizing small businesses, this show is preposterous. Many of the children who watch this show and try to mimic this guy are destined for kidney failure before they can legally buy a beer. The host of this program, and anyone else who eats like that on a consistent basis has a mental disorder and/or has no education whatsoever. The Food Network should not be glorifying this lifestyle, it is irresponsible and wrong. Guy is one of the shittiest things to happen to entertainment since the invention of the snuff film, or perhaps the birth of Robin Williams.

San Onofre Nuclear Power Plant

The last time that I was at Pendelton, my friend and I took a long walk on the beach in front of this plant. You can walk right in front and see the intake, and the guard towers. It looks quite ominous. While some people marvel at the engineering and design of this place, I marvel at the stupidity of the people who have lived through Chernobyl and Fukushima and still supported reopening this place. History has proven the myth of harnessing the atom as a safe and efficient means of energy production as a complete and utter fucking fraud. Southern California Edison, the owner and operator of this evil facility should never be trusted with the future of California's coast. Our coastline and the people and animals that live here are far more important than this place and overwhelmingly outweigh its true value. I am so glad this place closed. As a result, we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

Pfizer

Pfizer manufactures substances which: 1) are not safe for human consumption 2) make tens of thousands of people choke on their own vomit 3) cause physical dependency 4) cause mental anguish 5) get the full approval of the Federal Government 6) generate hundreds of millions of dollars in profits annually This review is specifically for Xanax. While most people that take them will not develop a full blown addiction, others may quickly become zombies and eventually overdose. Most Xanax addicts are poly drug abusers, but Xanax is by far the most insidious drug in their routine. Want to stop? Good luck. Do you want to spin the roulette wheel? This week, another close friend lost her life and I am confident that the Coroner will determine that Xanax was the cause of her death. She probably got her first prescription back in the early 90's. Within a couple of years, her anxiety persisted, the bizarre behavior increased, there were brushes with the law, attempts to dry out, and was always back to taking huge quantities of these pills. Being one of the 10 most popular prescription drugs in the US, it is not a difficult task to get almost any doctor to write you a prescription. She enlisted a lot of unsuspecting doctors in three different counties to get a lot of pills. It was easy and cheap, and ultimately deadly. And her insurance company paid for it all. I want to reiterate that it never worked for anxiety at all but it was the proximate cause of death of a unique person, one who a lot of people cared about, who we have lost forever. If you have anxiety or lack happiness in life, a pill is ultimately not going to help you. Xanax has no medical value whatsoever, and Pfizer knows this. But hey, it sure is profitable. As long as everyone is getting their beak wet, they are going to continue to manufacture this poison.

Hume Lake Campground

This review is for Hume Lake Campground in Sequoia National Park. The sites are spacious and private, and you have a couple of sections to choose from. Ours was in an area with some sequoias and cedars, ferns, wildflowers, and wild strawberries. There were a ton of Stellar Jays all over the place and we saw a very tame mule deer clearly very accustomed to humans. I believe there are 75 campsites and a few have a view of the lake. Hume Lake is a man made lake in Sequoia National Park about 6 miles from King's Canyon which can be seen from the dam and on the hill on the west shore of the lake (there is no trail, it is about two miles to get to the top). It used to be a logging camp. Imagine that: this forest was once clear cut because it had commercial value. I am sure glad that I don't have any commercial value and that nobody wants to chop me down. This is an excellent place to consume mushrooms. I would recommend the Liberty Cap variety and suggest about 3 grams for an optimal dose at this place. Watch Hume Lake turn very quickly into Shroom Lake and fortify your soul in the forest. In the evening, there was a layer of steam on the surface of the lake that was particularly cool. It was as if there was a wheat field on the surface of the lake. On the first day we were there, a lady named Dianne gave a presentation on the birds of prey in the parks and showed us a Red Tailed Hawk, a Great Horned Owl, and a Barn Owl. I had never been that close to a hawk before, and I felt like I should have been wearing a tie or something, it was so special. You can walk around the lake (3 miles) and head up a very cool canyon of a fork of the King's River. You should not try and swim in the river as you could easily drown trying to get out on the mossy rocks, but it is safe to swim in the lake. Across the lake is a Christian Camp where you can get gas and buy goods in their general store if needed. Many nice people that look like Ned Flanders wander around this side of the lake thanking the lord for such beautiful scenery. The campsites are $20 a night, admission to the park is an additional $20 for a trip you will never forget. This is a great campground for children. People thought this was:

Ice House Canyon Trail

The other day, I took the Chapman Trail, which was entirely new to me. You have to walk up the Ice House Canyon Trail for approximately a mile, and then you will see it on the left hand side marked by a sign. I found it to be almost empty, in contrast to the dozens, if not hundreds of people on the Ice House Canyon Trail to the South. The Chapman Trail offers some beautiful scenery as you traverse moderate switchbacks through chaparral, oak, cedar groves, unspoiled meadows, towering yucca with giant white flowers across a background of blue sky. Eventually winding up at Ice House Saddle, I can hardly wait to go back here. In fact, I think I will tell them I am sick later this afternoon so I can get out of the office and back on that trail. Healthy rodent population, trees look green and healthy for the most part, plenty of birds but I didn't see any raptors at all. You are going to arrive at the wilderness boundary at the 3 mile mark, after which you will need a permit(Baldy Ranger Station). Get an adventure pass to park(Big5). This is a really sacred place, and whatever little words I put on the internet don't do it much justice. Spring is an absolutely stellar time to come out to either of these trails. The scenery includes red, white, pink, blue and purple wildflowers, a billion shades of green, endless blue skies, all backed up with a chorus of that babbling brook off to the side of the trail. There is some damage here caused by the bark beetle, but it is not too extensive. When I arrived yesterday, the parking lot was full, but I had no problem getting a permit from the Ranger Station and made it to the top in a leisurely two hours. When you get to the top of the saddle, there are several other trails to continue on if you so desire. I posted some photos so you could see what I am talking about. The trail goes uphill for about 4 miles, following a creek for the first half of the hike. There are several areas where the freezing cold water is deep enough to take a swim and several places where you could just spend the whole day taking in the greenery and the scenery with a picnic basket. There is a lot of shade, but you will still need some sunscreen. You are going to see a ton of squirrels, birds, and chipmunks on this trail. There are also bear and deer so if you decide to camp here, get a bear can and don't bring chapstick or lotion into your tent. You are also going to see a ton of people, but nothing compared to the trails in Griffith Park or Runyon Canyon and the flash mobs that suddenly appear there at 7AM. The Cucamonga Wilderness which you pass through about midway up the trail is stunning. These mountains are majestic and almost impassable. You are going to belvedere yourself when you see the views as you are climbing through this wilderness. You need a wilderness permit to hike past this boundary and can obtain it at the ranger station. Keep in mind they are not open every day. Call in advance. As you get towards the saddle, the trail narrows a bit, and the chutes are probably a hundred feet down or so. Tell your children to be careful here.

Maestro's Steak House

I wish that many people in my life were equipped with a switch located on the back of their heads where I could shut them down or power them back up at my leisure. I would for sure flip the off switch on anyone who tried to get me to come back to Mastro's Steakhouse. After dinner here last night, I concluded that I am sick of this overpriced and under flavored high end steakhouse horseshit and Mastro's is the last pile of dung that I care to step in. Finished, I tell you. I got a nice bone in filet, which was well aged and cooked a proper medium rare all served on a sizzling platter. Also, some very decent brussel sprouts, sauteed spinach, scalloped potatoes, and a chopped salad. And some oysters Rockerfeller to start out. But I could have bailed out of jail for less money. More than 50 bucks for a steak like this was more like aggravated sodomy than it was highway robbery. The vegetables were good, but very very salty. I felt this meal had so much salt in it that I was being cured like a country ham from the inside. The potatoes as well. I did not know that cheese was the star topping on oysters Rockerfeller. I thought it was supposed to be Hollandaise sauce. The chopped salad was tasty and served in a cold bowl, but it was really a Greek Salad and should have been labeled as such. But I want to point out the highlights of this meal. The pretzel bread, and all the breads for that matter were out of this world good. I mean fantastic. The chopped salad was worth every cent of the 12 bucks that it cost. Also, I felt that the busboys and runners were very friendly, kind and professional. Our server was too, but the busboy and the runners attitudes were really impressive. When I was eating my filet, I kept thinking "COLD ROAST BEEF" as in a Stephen King short story. This hunk of beef was just a waste of a great steak. I kept wondering how this thing would have tasted if I had ordered the same cut at Park's BBQ, Solwoon Galbi, or Soot Bull Jeep. I am sure that the Koreans would have converted the filet into something well seasoned, tasty, satisfying and worthy. Grilled over charcoal, of course. American steakhouses need to take their un-imaginative preparations of beef served in mammoth portions and ram it up their snouts. This steak was so anti climactic that I almost felt like I needed to jerk off when I got home.

Clearman's North Woods Inn

On the way back from a magnificent hike up the sacred Mount Baldy this afternoon, the hunger pangs set in once we headed down the hill. My wife grew up in Mexico, and therefore has deep admiration and fascination with foods such as cheese toast and mushroom gravy and places like Damon's, Taylors, the North Woods Inn and the Dal Rae. Her mother never made macaroni and cheese, salisbury steak, or cream of mushroom soup. There were no steak and potatoes over there. The North Woods Inn is the type of place that my wife fantasized about eating as she sat there with a tortilla rolled up in her little hand over a bowl of pozole. It was really fun to see her having so much fun at this place and contributes generously to my 3 star rating. I had been here on one previous occasion with my dad and Uncle Bill, back around the Bicentennial, and it was probably this very same location. It still looks like a dark cabin complete with deer hoof gun racks and snowshoes mounted on the walls. On my first visit as a kid I ordered a chili dog. My uncle chain-smoked Pall Malls at the dinner table and ordered several giant beers before he drove us all home drunk in his Ford LTD. Those were the good old days. Little, it seems, has changed save the no smoking policy and the trebling of the prices. The cabbage slaw and bleu cheese iceberg salad were very good. The lettuce was crispy and cold and the red slaw tossed in a nice oil and vinegar dressing was quite tasty. They also make a mean cheese toast here. It would have been prudent to stop at this point, but we both continued to eat until we contracted a severe case of butter poisoning. And the entrees were more or less what you might get at a place like the Sizzler if you paid an additional twenty bucks. I noticed that they had a taxidermy bear in a glass case in the lobby. I don't approve of using bears for decoration, but the deer hoof gun racks are more or less acceptable.

Marouch Restaurant

My best friend is Tracy and we met in the Summer of 84 at a bus stop on Wilshire Blvd. on the way to the 321 Club in Santa Monica. Fifty years and several hundred hits of acid later, we are still hanging out. She has been a vegetarian since as long as I can remember and convinced my brother Paul to become a lifelong vegetarian in 1985. Eating dinner with old friends is one of the best things about the human species. The last time she was in town, we went to Shojin, which I regard as the finest vegetarian place in the entire City of Los Angeles. This time around, we went to Marouch and ordered the Meza for 4 ($75.00). They were happy to make everything vegetarian and every single dish was fantastic. Every single item could not possibly have been improved upon. My very favorites this time were the perfect, crispy falafels with tahini and the fattoush salad. A great place to eat with your best friends, especially if they are vegetarians!

Soowon Galbi Korean BBQ Restaurant

Every time I come here I am just astonished by the outstanding quality of the short ribs, beautiful marinated sliced rib eye, the banchan, the outstanding, flawless service, the bargain price and everything else. Since I live in Koreatown, I wake up and go to bed smelling broiling beef in the air, but there are only a few BBQ places that are worthy. The other ones are Chosun, Parks, and Soot Bull Jeep. I do not patronize all you can eat places. Soowon is a FF (Fucking Flawless) Korean BBQ place. The delicious banchan, the perfectly marbled beef, the soup and (flawless) service will leave you in a state of utter happiness. I came in here at 3PM on a Saturday, so there were only a couple of other parties eating here. I was surprised at how attentive the servers were and how I did have to ask for anything at all. The price that you pay is pretty low considering that this is one of the very best pieces of meat available for any price in Los Angeles. I'm truly impressed. 've been back a couple of times since my original visit. I have never been disappointed and the food remained mind blowing good. The team service here is perfect. Your servers will make sure that you are well taken care of. Prime Korean BBQ, some quality time with your grown children, and the afternoon off of work....life does not get much sweeter than this!

Ancient Bristlecone Pine Forest

One of those places that exceeds the splendor of anything and everything manmade. People thought this was:

hunt and henriques

Making prank calls was my very favorite thing to do as a little kid. No, wait, prank calls are still my favorite thing to do and this place brings out the inner Bart SImpson in me! The managing partner of this law firm is named Mike Hunt, the best punchline ever! Hunt and Henriques is the largest collection firm in California. They make their living off of the faulty lending practices of banks like Capital One, and CItibank suing people for credit cards that never should have been issued in the first place. If these people ever contact you, remember that they can't do anything at all to hurt you unless they know where you work or where you have a bank account. You have no obligation to talk to them whatsoever, and they cannot contact you by phone again if you specifically tell them not to. Also, they could put a lien on your property if you have one, but most people they sue do not. Also, most people who this company sues will qualify for a bankruptcy. If they already have sued you, a bankruptcy will not make your credit a hell of a lot worse. The best strategy to use on these people is to make fun of them and to prank them on the phone. Remember, act serious, they are not expecting to be ambushed over the phone. H&H- "Hello, Hunt and Henriques, this call is being recorded for quality assurance and is an attempt to collect a debt....." Me- "Can I please speak with Mike Hunt?" H&H- "Sir, have you ever spoken to Mike Hunt before? Me-"How filthy, I never." Damn, it is funny to be childish. And no matter how old you get, the joke is still pretty funny. And you could not dream up a better collection of mean-spirited people to poke gentle fun of!

Inspiration Point Via Castle Canyon

could not wait to come back here, so I picked the hottest day of the Summer so far, and let me tell you folks, this trail is a real ass kicker! If you are jogging, you are probably burning around 800 calories an hour so make sure to have eaten plenty of rice or steamed potatoes the night before you set out. Drink a shitload of water before, too! There was not much traffic on the trail at all. I saw a few nice folks on the Sam Merrill Trail on the way up, but there was not another human soul in Castle Canyon yesterday afternoon. If you ever want to get connected with the spirit of Summer, then you could do a lot worse than this trail. It is hot and just keeps getting hotter. The rocks are like charcoal briquettes and just toasted me yesterday. There was no shade at all. The last time

Del Norte Coast Redwoods State Park

This is a big park with a couple of camping options and a hundred miles of trail. There are some huge old growth trees and some scenery that you will never forget. But you already knew that. I suggest the Damnation Creek Trail located at mile marker 16 off Hwy 101 four miles south of the Mill Creek Campground. It is an old Yurok trail that will take you approximately two miles down a moderately steep path to the beach where you will pass some of the most magnificent old growth trees you will ever see. It must have been too steep to remove the lumber, so these giants lives were thankfully spared. The way that the sunlight shines through the fog and filters through the trees here will leave you speechless. There are some amazing colors in this forest! The beach is equally awesome. The Hobbs Wall trail to the Mill Creek Trail is another nice trail that is accessible from Mill Creek Campground located within the park. The trail will take you to some nice sections of the park. It is about 8 miles up and back with plenty of water that you could drink after filtering. My wife and I did not see one other human soul on this trail. Mill Creek Campground is relatively uncrowded, covered in second growth trees and has some of the most awesome campsites I have ever encountered anywhere. Bear, deer, raven, banana slug, and stellar jay will be on the trail. Campsite #90 is especially nice.

It is a wonderful place to camp when you are exploring this park.

Patrick's Point State Park

Patrick's Point State Park This park is one of the crown jewels of California's State Park System. It is a seldom used place open year round overlooking Agate and Trinidad State Beaches with jaw-dropping views of the North Coast. The mixed forest within the park is filled with crows, jays, ravens, mountain lion, brown bear, chipmunk, deer, elk and other creatures. Keep your food locked in the bear box and take all the soap and candy out of your car or face the consequences. The Rim Trail is just a few miles long and will take you along a beautiful path where the forest meets the ocean and a couple of paths lead down to the water. The campsites here are huge and private and you are going to have a couple of areas to choose from. The Agate Beach Trail is currently closed, however. At the time of our visit, the fog had burned off by around 2PM offering some astounding scenery from the Rim Trail and the top of Ceremony Rock. Light pollution is relatively low here on the point and looking at the stars here with the sound of the ocean in the background makes life worth celebrating. All campsites in this and every other California State Park are $35.00 a night. A generous two (2) dollar discount is available for seniors. If you hike or bike into the campground, the cost is $5.00 per person.

Sinkyone Wilderness

This park is a bit difficult to access but well worth the effort. I found out about it from a flyer posted by the ranger while camping at Standish Hickey a couple of years ago. It offers one a very isolated and remote wilderness experience, especially if you happen to be there in December. You may be the only person there looking at the birds, elk, bear, raccoon, and a ton of deer. There are two ends of the park, and a trail linking them together along the Lost Coast. The photos are from the Usal end of the park where a creek runs into the Pacific. It is probably not a great idea to swim, approach the animals, or to become too intoxicated here as a fatality could easily result. Plan your trip by researching the place and calling the ranger (at Standish Hickey) for trail conditions before you head out.

The Chart Room Restaurant

The fresh, beer battered ling cod pieces that they serve here are what fried Pacific fish is supposed to taste like. A regular order of fish and chips comes with six smallish nuggets of ling cod in a delicious batter. I ordered six extra pieces of fish at $1.50 each they were so good! The tartar sauce is homemade and not purchased from Sysco. Cole slaw is the kind with a little bit of celery seed mixed in with the dressing and was crisp and fresh. The fries were the only weak point of the meal, and the owners should seriously consider making them from fresh potatoes and frying them twice but the excellent fish compensates for the fries. My wife got the crab louis which looked good and tasted even better. It was very reasonably priced. You will eat your meal among the friendly regulars and will have good thoughts about the service here! Harbor seals frolic in the water for your entertainment pleasure. A portrait of a pre-Alzheimer's Gipper wearing a cowboy hat hangs prominently on a wall reminding you that you are no longer in Arcata. You can walk over to dock "B" and talk to the fine fishermen who hauled in that ling cod on your plate earlier in the day. The fish does not get any fresher. Five stars you ask, for a fish house in Crescent City? You bet! Were you expecting the Four Seasons Pelican Bay brunch or something?

The Langham Huntington

Under normal circumstances, I would never stay in a hotel in Los Angeles but my wife won a room at this place a short while ago. Ever suspicious of anything free, I was wondering what the gimmick was. As it turned out, there was no gimmick. Absolutely no catch at all. I really dislike the Eagles and think they should all have their fingers smashed with a ball peen hammer for composing that song Hotel California. Especially the one who wheedles on the pedal steel. I can taste the vomit in my mouth just thinking about it. But in any event, this place is Hotel California more than any other hotel I have stayed in here in our Golden State. Spending a little time here will transport you to a different era long before we were an information society. When things were much nicer for the traveler as long as you were White. Where you could get a proper fucking finger sandwich with your afternoon tea. The cactus garden alone is worth a drive out here and the grounds are the epitome of tranquility. The pool is fantastic, the rooms comfortable, the food ranks among the best hotel meals I have eaten. I felt that the hotel employees were without a doubt the classiest ones I have dealt with ever. They succeeded in making me feel very welcome. A true oasis in the frequently plastic desert of Los Angeles.

Brand Park Hiking Trails

Brand Park is situated in the Verdugo Mountains in the foothills of Glendale. For the hike to the top, start at the fire road behind the doctor's house and walk about a mile up past the landfill. Turn left about 50 yards ahead when you get to the large sycamore tree for the steeper trail. The more challenging side has a set of radio towers on top and ends at the top of Tongva Peak. It may help some people to wear cleats to get a better grip, but I have no problems using trail running shoes. This trail has a good elevation gain, but is a relatively short hike. If you run down the fire road to the west of Tongva Peak, your return trip will total 4.1 miles to the parking lot. This approach is steep and challenging. There is another trail that goes to the top east of here. It is significantly easier, but still difficult. It has a nice place to rest at the halfway point. It takes my wife and I 1 hour and 10 minutes to go up and back on the more difficult trail running briskly most of the way. Things to take into account: There is no shade There are little gnats, flies and hornets so use DEET There is no water Like any hike, you can slip and fall and crack your head open and perish and the plants and animals don't care so just enjoy yourselves and don't take any unnecessary risks. Superior views on clear days of the San Gabriel Mountains on one side, and the sprawl on the other Rabbit, squirrel, coyote, and a bobcat or two. A couple of nice oaks. Some sycamore and pine. This park is filled with cool stuff in general. There is a branch of the Glendale public library but you probably knew that. The Brand Park Arts Library is not like your ordinary inner city library branch. It does not get crowded with screaming, hyperactive brats wheedling away on the internet and smearing their filthy germs all over the keyboards. For sure, it is the crown jewel in their system. It sure has a lot of very cool art books and non-book materials. It is almost like a miniature version of the Arts Library at UCLA, but with free parking and a considerably more delightful setting. The Brand Family graveyard is on the premises as well, and has a very cool pyramid tombstone. There is also a trail with waterfalls that you can access by walking up the asphalt road at the north end of the park, and hanging a left at the drainage ditch at the fork in the road. When you come to a pork in the road, take it. This is a really good park to eat mushrooms and it is super cool when it rains! During the Summer, it gets as dry as a tinder box. The park closes at 10PM.

Chilao Campground

I came here afterwork yesterday and occupied campsite #39 in Manzanita Loop. There were a total of three other parties in the entire campground and the experience could not have been anymore magnificent. My godson who is three had his very first camping experience was absolutely delighted with Chilao. He climbed around the boulders, explored the vicinity of our space, ate s'mores, hot dogs, sat around the fire, watched the stars, and collected pine cones and rocks. He could not have been any happier. We will both surely never forget this fantastic little trip. We saw blue jays, crows, squirrels, chipmunks, and a couple of red tailed hawks. The forest has come back since the Station Fire and looks much better than it did the last time I was here approximately two years ago when it looked like Downtown Grozny. It was a fine night to go to Chilao. The temperature was in the 60's all night and the moon and stars were just breathtaking. Instead of the sleeping in the tent, I put my air mattress in the middle of a clearing so I could get a better look at the stars and planets. I turned on a little Frank Zappa and had some cold ice water and crashed. I woke up at 4AM and took a leisurely two hour stroll in the moonlight. The burned trees in the moonlight reminded me of skeletons and the purple flowers of the poodle dog brush glowed like they were under a blacklight. The forest looked hopeful and like a war zone simultaneously. An owl's call and some crickets were the only sounds in the canyon. I went to some intense boulders on one end of the canyon south of the park and climbed to the top of the stack and carefully observed what was going on around me. Life can be exceedingly disappointing when you look at the big picture, but very grand indeed because of times like this. Campsite-$12 Food-$25 Gas-$10 Firewood-Free Memories-Priceless