Like any red blooded American, I like a good hamburger once in a while. I possess this thing called self control (I have no self control), and so instead of eating animals in a reckless and brazen manner on a daily basis, I save my lower intestine from a whuppin' by eating red meat sparingly. All kinds of meat for that matter. Chicken is not diet food.
Now that I am not obese and have taken steps to remove the trash from my body, I also watch my intake of fried food. When I get some fries, I want to fully enjoy them because I only get to eat them about once a week without causing grave harm to my body. Same goes for the burger, so they had both better be good.
My friend Roy is an outstanding food writer, and I respect his choice of having let himself go. He let himself go in a bad, bad, bad way. I saw his before picture and was astonished to see a nice looking young man with defined abs taken circa 1982. You could never recognize him today unless you personally witnessed his downhill spiral into exceedingly poor health. Watching him eat and write about food is like watching a wino pour a gallon of ripple into his body. Not a pretty sight. His written descriptions of restaurants are about the best I have seen coming out of Orange County. He has a way with words that is folksy, polite, and well informed. So when I read his review for Fronk's Restaurant in Bellflower, it was just a matter of time before I cashed in my hamburger and fry chips for dinner at this so called holy grail of burgers.
Have you ever walked into M&M Soul Food and looked around only to realize that you were the only honky in the restaurant? How about when you go into Yunnan Gardens and you the only round eye? It has happened to me many times before. This was the first place I have dined at where I looked around and realized that me and my wife were the only people in there who were not morbidly obese. All my fellow diners tipped the scales at over two hundred pounds.
Now on to the food. The burger had an 1/8 of an inch of char on the bottom of it. My jalapeno bacon cheeseburger was nasty. I could not finish my half. It was like the beans of a clown. Burned on the bottom and raw in the center. Nice burger sauce. It would have been nice if I did not see the guy sitting next to me eating this mayo based sauce with a spoon before my food arrived. I almost vomited when I saw him do that. I really almost did. The bacon was burned to a crisp and just amounted to a few scattered bits on top of the tasteless lump of melted jack cheese. The beer battered corn on the cob was something I just let my wife take care of. The french fries were good but the 1lb portion obscene and way too large to finish. Did someone order the bacon cheeseburger nachos? Did someone order the stroke?
A huge platter of fried vegetables graced nearly every table. Fred Flintstone sized racks of ribs waited to be devoured by the morbidly obese clientele. Watching these people who already suffer from diabetes stuffing their faces with this shit is like watching a junkie shoot up. Fronk ought to be charged a special tax and the people that eat there regularly should be mandated to visit Harbor UCLA Medical Center dialysis unit for a few hours a month. Next time I want a burger, I am going to eat a fucking Double Double. At least it won't cost fucking $10.95 and I don't have to look at big, fat whales eating giant plates of beer battered tilapia, raw Angus beef slathered in mayo. This place is shameful.
