Santa Monica Power Yoga

What is your fighting style?  Are you a brawler, or do you do Jujitsu?  Judo, wrestling, whatever your poison, I am going to let you in on a little secret.  If you want to learn how to prevent injury, train your breath, and give you the extra something to get your opponent to black out when you punch their face, come to this place.  You may have some pre-conceived notion that yoga is for pussies.  But no matter what your workout, you are bound to be challenged by the 90 minute sessions here.  The poses require strength and some degree of flexibility.  If you do not have said level of fitness, you run the risk of blacking out.  Upper body strength is mandatory.

My workout usually consists of waking up at 5AM and having a small breakfast of fruit, beans, rice, and at least a liter of cold water.  Then I do my first 50 chin ups and some other work on the pull up bar targeting my abs.  Then, I run uphill for about 2 hours or in the alternative, ride my bike for approximately the same duration.  The bike is essential to build the thighs and the gluteus.  Just forget about running alone.  Upon returning home, I do the balance of the chin ups to total 100.  Then I use my cervical traction device and deep breathe for about 30 minutes.  Eating tons of fresh vegetables, rice, pasta, fresh wild local fish, canned sardines, and drinking water should replace any fast or prepared foods and a banana with water is better than any energy drink.

Any way that you look at it, this regimen will leave your muscles pretty knotted up.  You can stretch, and I do, but you are not really going to unwind by stretching alone.  You need to do yoga.  In addition, I also swim in a pool and the ocean a couple of times a week to target those hard to reach muscles.

Power yoga is the glue that holds all this shit together.  It is the only natural thing that I have ever tried that quiets my head.  And I am sure the teachers know that it is some great conditioning if you are a fighter.  All of those poses cross over to give someone a real face punching all calm, cool and collected.     If you follow this simple program which does not require much of an investment, come to power yoga and challenge yourself.

A Pretty Substantial Victory

The three-judge panel of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals held unanimously that there is no difference between a journalist for a media outlet and another speaker when it comes to First Amendment protections.

There are many things that I dislike about the Internet, but it sure does provide us bloggers with a pulpit that can expose the evildoers.  I have never been hesitant to call a spade a spade.  Over the course of the last couple of years, I have shared true stories of individuals who have attempted to masquerade as respectable members of the community when it is clear that their souls are filled with excrement.  Some of these people have been so angry that I have exposed them that they have filed Civil Harassment Restraining Orders against me, your humble narrator.  I had to defend my speech and my freedom to keep arms to protect myself at my own expense.  But I persisted.  And won.  Shitters, you can run but you cannot hide.  

Open Letter to the Consul General of the Republic of Mexico in Los Angeles

Dear Consul General for the Republic of Mexico: 

Please be  advised that I have some helpful suggestions to assist you and your fellow countrymen in overcoming the obesity epidemic that threatens to kill more people of atherosclerosis and diabetes than your bloody fucking drug war.  It has recently come to my attention that Mexico has now surpassed the United States and has emerged as the fattest country in the world.  It comes as no big surprise, and it has been about 20 years in the making, but make no mistake about it, you, your morbidly obese little kids, y tu pinche puta madre are fat for a reason.  Or rather, reasons.  

Mexicans are not genetically programmed to eat things like macaroni and cheese, enriched white Bimbo Bread, Gansitos, Chocomil, Ding Dongs, carne de res, Fud Hot Dogs and lunch meats, pork, wheat, refined sugar, butter, milk, and sandwiches.  Mexicans had a decent diet for millennia, and after the conquest, the obesity epidemic certainly did not take place.  They did not get morbidly obese on Pallella so don't blame the Spaniards.  It happened after the Costco and Sam's Club conquest when people stopped buying their tortillas at the neighborhood tortilleria and instead went to Costco where their culture was essentially placed into the dumpster and replaced with a food culture that is not well tolerated genetically by people from this region.  And an alcohol culture that may just be as harmful as the food that the Yanquis peddle to them.  

Mexicans should be eating deer meat, grasshoppers, non-GMO corn, squash, chilies, fish, nuts, chocolate, berries, verdologas, small mammals, fowl, chocolate, and ant's eggs.  Did I mention American Cheese?  No, I did not, because it is just unnatural.   Did I mention In N Out Burger?  No, because Mexicans weren't designed to eat that abomination.  If you do not believe in evolution, please refer to your nation's obesity crisis as proof in the puddin' so to speak.  

So senor, while you ponder your next move, please consider what I have written and pass my message on.  Now, if only Michelle Obama had the courage to say to Black America that they would overcome 90% of their collective health problems by following a traditional African diet of groundnuts, bushmeat, grasscutter  cassava, fish, fufu, and native vegetables instead of eating smothered pork chops, ribs, fired chicken, and cornbread…..

Resolute

This year, I am cutting down on salt.  Everything else is cool.  I plan to continue running on a daily basis and continue with my chin up challenge (+-100/daily).

Believe in yourself and be fit to lead.  Choose life.  Stop making excuses.  Everyone can get results by following four simple steps.  You do not need a gym membership or any equipment other than tennis shoes and work out clothes if you live in Southern California.

Here are the simple steps:
1) Wake up at 5AM don't make excuses
2) Stop eating shit (anything you do not cook yourself)
3) Vigorous calisthenics DAILY
4) MORE than 45 Minutes of Cardio every day (I suggest walking uphill)

Good luck and see you on the trail.  Happy 2014.  Thanks for reading.

Langer's and the Heart Attack Factor

Like many of you, I have been very fond of Langer's #19 for several years.  I remember my first meal at Langer's in 1982, when Mac Arthur Park suffered from a little bit less cocaine and heroin and violence, while not seldom, was not nearly as commonplace as today.  The American Cement Building was still fully rented, and the paddle boats still were present on the lake.  The Boathouse was not in a state of demolition.  I ordered corned beef hash and two eggs over easy.  I did not discover the #19 until 1995.

The #19 is arguably the best sandwich available in a shitty sandwich city.  Bay Cities Importing is pretty good, but it has nothing on the Central Market Muffletta, for instance.   Or a real Italian Sandwich from a deli in North Beach.  The #19 is the best pastrami I have eaten, that is for certain.  The Hat is just pure gristle and salt on a mass-produced roll from the Francisco Bakery.  The chili fries are large enough to give the City of Alhambra the runs.  The pastrami at Langer's is in a whole different  universe than the Hat as far as I am concerned.

For several years, I indulged in artery clogging goodness at Langer's on a weekly basis.  #19, fries, extra Russian Dressing, and a couple of refills on the pickles.  And a cold beer.  Your cardiologist could not hope for a better lunch to increase his profits.

I have heard several people talk about how they don't go into Langer's too much after suffering their first heart attack.  I don't go in too much anymore.  Across the street, you can buy a nice big crack rock for $20.00 without any references.  I am inclined to say that the sandwich is probably more harmful than the cocaine.  Especially if you do it up like I used to.  I'm not saying I'll never do it again.  Langer's, I mean.

Christmas Buying, Christmas Lying

Ending is better than mending, as the fascists say.  So I am going to buy nothing at all.  This Christmas, I am going to just say no to the commercial "holiday spirit".  I'd rather cook dinner with my family and friends.  Instead of giving out cards, I will wish my friends a great holiday in person.   I'm planning on some nice food, but not likely traditional food.  I am thinking about fried tacos, beans from the pot, Mexican rice, guacamole and salsa.  You know, a good old taco dinner.

I am not making any fucking ham.  I am not making any fucking turkey.  I am not buying into the commercial nature of the holidays.  I will get to the core of what it is all about and spend Tuesday and Wednesday with the people who are most important to me.  Peace on earth, indeed.  

You like Pizza?

We all are geographically aware that this is Los Angeles and not the East Coast.  Please do not come over to my home state and get a job here and talk a bunch of shit.  We have our problems over here, but if you are into outdoor recreation, you are in the unique position to ski, surf, and ride your bike in the desert all in the same day.  I know the pizza is probably better in New York, but some of the places I have been to here are halfway decent.

If you go to Pizza Mozza and go away saying that you just ate shitty pizza, you are a big fat liar.  Step up and come a little closer so I can slap you in your face.  Mozza is not my favorite, and Nancy Silverton has never made my list of culinary saints.  It seems like all of the shit eating restaurant critics seemed to really hold her in high esteem.  She does make a pretty good pizza though.  Same goes for Mario Batalle.  I think he is a fat sonofabitch who is responsible for introducing an already fat American population to Lardo.  I would like to put him on a strict exercise regimen and force him to eat a plant based diet for at least two years.  But he makes a damn good pizza and the other things I have ordered from Mozza have been pretty damn good too.  I have also been to the more formal Mozza restaurant.  I ordered the lamb shanks and they were delicious.  Mario is a pig and good lamb shanks don't change that at all.  Someone get me an apple so I can stuff it into his mouth before I roast him.

Bollini's on Garfield in Monterey Park is my personal favorite place to get pizza in Los Angeles.  I like the Old Skool, the Nonna, and every other pizza I have tried there.  The woodfired pizza oven is pretty cool, and the owner has a great sense of taste.  His vision of casual Italian Food is nearly perfect.  Service is a little spotty.  The pork chops here are fantastic, if you are into that sort of thing.  The owner spent some time in Italy, where the food can be just perfect.

Village Pizza in Larchmont is your best bet if you live in Koreatown.  It is leaps and bounds better than KONY or Pizza Go.  Shame on all those fucking fools who say that All Angolo is worthy.  It is clearly joe average.  And the cook in the open kitchen licks his filthy fucking fingers and touches the food without washing his hands.  Nasty shit.  

Last but not least, I have to give an honorable mention to Casa Bianca in Eagle Rock.  A great pie, especially if you get it topped with fried eggplant, sausage, onion, and light extra sauce.  It is a work of art.  Do yourself a favor and come after 10pm.  There will not be a wait.    Mr. K's in Glendale is not bad either, though it has been a while.

We need to stop any rivalry between the two coasts.  I don't want to talk shit about my East Coast brothers, I want to show you a good time and smoke a big fat joint of our finest, dankest bud.  So please, don't talk shit about us either.  I extend California hospitality.  Come on over at let us show you and buy you a burrito or some street tacos. Welcome.  PM me if you need someone to show you around.